Home Sweet Home Alone

“Home Sweet Home Alone” is streaming on Disney Plus. It received negative reviews from critics, families and streamers alike. When I first heard Disney Plus is making a follow up to “Home Alone” without Macaulay Culkin, I had a bad feeling this is gonna suck pee pee. As a film critic, I can’t be reluctant, I have to sacrifice my spare time for the sake of many streamers and movie goers.

This review contains SPOILERS. If you’re somehow interested in watching this movie, read at your own risk.

Nice & Naughty

Nice: One good thing is an adult Buzz factors in as a cop.

Only joke made me laugh is Jay accidentally farting in front of May’s face.

Naughty: Dan Mazer did a terrible job directing this “so-called” installment.

Max isn’t memorable as Kevin. Remember Kevin was a brat in the first movie setting up the reason why he got stuck at home wishing his family would disappear over a disastrous pizza party? Max however, doesn’t have a legit reason why he wishes to be alone in the house. What the former lacks is a three-dimensional personality. He’s just a selfish whiny junk food eating fat kid who craves for a soda. It pisses me the hell off trying to care for a POS lacking any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Can you imagine rooting for Leonardo DiCaprio’s character Calvin Candie from “Django Unchained?” That’s a big no no.

Besides Max, Jeff & Pam aren’t as funny as Harry & Marv. I never bought Jeff & Pam as incompetent villains. They’re actually the heroes instead of Max. Which is another flaw. Max steals a doll worth a lot of money to support their kids. I’m totally not making this up. I wish it were a dumb story, but this sounds like a crappy “SNL” sketch. I’m gonna Double Down this con for making Max the real antagonist.

Turns out Max didn’t steal the doll, it was Jeff’s sister-in-law’s son. That’s doesn’t excuse the fact Max is a self-centered brat. Here’s a better Plot Twist. Britney Spears’ dad is a complete shithead. I’m happy Britney deserves Justice.

Speaking of SNL, Mikey Day co-wrote the script with fellow writer Streeteer Seidell. Kenan Thompson couldn’t save this movie with his onscreen presence.

A Plot Hole involving Max’s parents fail to check every single room before they left. They forgot to check the garage where Max is sleeping in the backseat of a car.

The worst offender of them all is Macaulay Culkin didn’t reprise his role as Kevin. How come Buzz shows up, but Kevin didn’t? Wouldn’t make sense If Kevin appeared as a cop? Too bad he’s only mentioned as the founder of a security system under “McCallister.”

The Booby Traps didn’t make me chuckle. That’s really bad folks.

Random inner thoughts of any character pop straight out of nowhere.

Max never gets his comeuppance for beating the hell out of Jeff & Pam. It’s as if Hans Landa from “Inglorious Basterds,” never met a fateful punishment.

I didn’t enjoy Home Sweet Home Alone all the way through. I constantly checked how long this movie is keeping me hostage.

Product Placement featuring brands such as Doritos, Ebay, BMW, LG & Kelloggs. I’ll let this con slide, because I couldn’t find any other brand to shove down my throat.

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

Home Sweet Home Alone is a miscalculated cluster fudge lacking the original film’s charm. It sucks pee pee. Disney made a failed attempt to cash-in on a dead franchise. It died since “Home Alone 3” imploded the series. If you wanna watch a way better Christmas movie, watch “The Christmas Chronicles” and its sequel on Netflix. Don’t forget to watch all six episodes of “Hawkeye” on Disney Plus. It’s also set during Christmas.

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