Flashback Review: Zenon: Z3

After “Zenon: The Zequel” aired on Disney Channel in 2001 around the same year “Samurai Jack” aired on Cartoon Network, Disney Channel green-lit a third installment of the Zenon series titled, “Zenon: Z3.”

Zenon: Z3 officially aired on Disney Channel in 2004. (same year Code Lyoko aired on Cartoon Network) It received negative reviews from critics. Zenon: Z3 concluded “The Zenon Trilogy” labeled as one of the worst trilogies ever existed along with “The High School Musical Trilogy.”

Today’s review contains SPOILERS. If you’re interested in watching The Zenon Trilogy, stop reading and view all three films. If not, read at your own risk.

Logical & Illogical Aspects

Logical: Z3 takes place in 2054. The exact year “Minority Report” takes place in the future. What a co-inky-dink.

After the events of The Zequel, Zenon & Margie are now good friends. I would assume they do karate in the garage like Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly in “Step Brothers.”

Zenon’s tablet predicted the iPad.

It’s about friggin’ time a futuristic city is in a Zenon movie. That doesn’t excuse the fact Z3’s is painfully excruciating. I have to subtract this pro wasting The Zenon Trilogy’s total runtime spanning four and a half hours.

The only good part of Z3 is “Supernova Girl” played during the end credits.

Illogical: Commander Plank & Judy’s adopted daughter, Dasha is an annoying carbon copy of Zenon. I know she looks up to Zenon, but all she does is follow her almost anywhere. Was Disney Channel planning a spin-off movie for Dasha? I’m so glad Z3 imploded the Zenon series permanently erasing a Dasha spin-off.

Visual Effects are painfully excruciating to look from the naked eye. I know this is a made for TV film, but the effects are obviously fake. Dwayne Johnson’s C.G.I. form in “The Mummy Returns” felt realistic.

The Story is told in a muddled mess lacking a cohesive narrative.

Cinematography never suffered from a bad case of technical problems throughout.

A racing scene in space is very bad due to poor visual effects. The Glob Monster from “JumpStart 1st Grade” felt real alongside Dwayne Johnson’s C.G.I. form in The Mummy Returns.

The spacey cars are cheesy as fudge. They resemble a Nintendo 64 game.

A Green Screen is butt ugly. For example, when you see Zenon perform a spacewalk, You can tell it ain’t real. Ugh! This is why Christopher Nolan prefers using Practical Effects, miniature models and real life locations. Thank goodness “Interstellar” is one of my favorite movies of all time. Gotta love the effects as they are superior than The Zenon Trilogy’s ri-goshdarn-diculous visual effects.

Zenon’s catchphrase “Cetus Lupeedus” still doesn’t make any gosh darn sense. I don’t know what it means.

Remember the aliens from The Zequel? They weren’t interesting, they were boring as heck. Z3 cranks the nonsensical mythos Up To 11 when a goddess of the moon factors in to warn Zenon The Host of an intergalactic space contest is plotting to colonize the moon. Aw jeez! I have to Triple Down this con for making me lose my brain cells. We’ve gone from least interesting floating aliens to a goddess depicted as a spoiled brat.

Aw crud! A greedy businessman’s villainous scheme is destroying a landmark or acres of land into a new location plundering for profit. It’s one of my most hated cliches in family films, because a high powered businessman is only motivated by greed who plans on imploding a forest or landmark in favor expanding a company. Does “Hey Arnold: The Movie,” “Max Keeble’s Big Move,” “The Lorax” & “Furry Vengeance” ring any bells?

Unlike The Zequel, Z3 doesn’t have a title card giving a recap of what happened after Zenon’s last adventure.

Raven-Symoné reprises her role as Nebula. What about her replacement from The Zequel? Doesn’t make sense. Can you imagine if Marvel Studios rehire Edward Norton as Bruce Banner/Hulk and booting out Mark Ruffalo? That would confuse a lot of people. The Flash’s upcoming film “Flashpoint” featuring Michael Keaton & Ben Affleck playing separate Batmans from different universe makes legit sense.

Protozoa’s actor from the last two movies is replaced by a newcomer who looks like a dollar store version of Guy Pearce. Let me get this straight. Raven-Symoné reprises her role as Nebula but Protzoa’s original actor got replaced. EGADS! Now I know how it feels for Emma Fuhrmann getting screwed over by Marvel Studios replacing her with Kathryn Newton in the upcoming “Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania.” It’s not an improvement, it’s mean spirited firing a hopeful actress in favor of somebody more popular.

Like the first two entries, Z3 repeats Protozoa performs in front of a live audience. The Zequel & Z3 belong in The Department Of Redundancy. To quote Deadpool, “Well that’s just lazy writing.”

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

Z3 is an unwatchable final installment to The Zenon Trilogy. Similar to its predecessors, the third film lacks innovation, suffers from inconsistencies, a nonsensical storyline, an annoying kid sidekick who is not interesting among many problems I’ve added as illogical. As a kid, I used to like The Zenon Trilogy. Now that I’m older, I was deceived. Do not, I repeat do not waste four and a half hours watching The Zenon Trilogy. If you want to watch a decent trilogy, I strongly recommend “The Dark Knight Trilogy,” “The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy,” “The Three Flavors Cornetto Trilogy” & “The Mexico Trilogy.” They will keep you satisfied.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s