The Emoji Movie

The Emoji Movie is complete GARBAGE! I refuse to talk about the history of The Emoji Movie! If I were you, don’t see it! I wasted my money on this dreadful animated film! I wanted to watch this movie to see why its extremely bad, and I did, so I can save you fellow movie goers from not wasting your family time on this piece of dog poop!

I don’t care about SPOILERS! I’ll give away important elements in order to prevent you from wasting your precious spare time!

Gold: George Michael’s song “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go,” is one of the songs selected for a Just Dance sequence. T.J. Miller co-starred in Deadpool, because the title character’s favorite singer is George Michael. If Deadpool himself watched The Emoji Movie, he’ll be appalled on what he just witnessed.

Poop: The Studio Logo shows someone taking a picture with their IPhone. Rule Number 1, you’re not supposed to take pictures or film the whole movie, otherwise you’ll be arrested for digital piracy and eventually, be thrown into the slammer.

The Characters are completely forgettable and uninteresting.

Smiler’s “happy face,” reminded me of a serial killer smiling like Jeffery Dahmer.

Gene’s failed attempt to make a meh expression, sets up the main conflict. This has got to be the worst Inciting Incident scnerio to set up a chain of events in cinematic history. Its not so hard to take a prom photo with your date, as long as your eyes aren’t closed!

I didn’t laugh throughout the entire picture.

Gene & High Five explore The Wallpaper Maze. The Maze is filled with colorful apps. Does this remind you of Inside Out when Joy & Sadness explore The Maze Of Memories?

Jokes are filled with terrible puns. This is Mr. Freeze’s ice puns bad.

Smiler’s henchmen kills a character called Spam on-screen! Osmosis Jones worked for certain blood cells/germs getting killed on-screen because Thrax’s motivation and his introduction scene made sense for his lust for killing. In The Emoji Movie, this scene failed to establish Smiler’s motive properly by not KILLING innocent civilians!

One scene shows a fake out of Gene’s exploding body, with Jailbreak & High Five covered in Gene’s “blood.” Did Sony fail to check on what target audience they were aiming for? Dude, this isn’t a gory version of Monster-In-Law when J-Lo uses her imagination to attack Jane Fonda!

Incompetent henchmen watching cat videos on YouTube.

How is Gene able to survive Firewall’s flames? Why isn’t he in the trash like the other characters killed off earlier. This is nonsense! Dr. Strange can survive an attack by using the time amulet!

Gene’s father has the same condition as his him. The dad doesn’t actually express his emotions rather than the icons telling us viewers how he feels.

Alex, the user for the IPhone, wasn’t interesting at all. Just a generic pre-teen.

A Flashing Before Your Life moment with Gene remembering the good times he had with High Five & Jailbreak. Again, they weren’t memorable.

Alex saves the emotes by accepting a date with a girl he likes by canceling the deletion process for his phone.

I was bored during the entire run for the picture.

The Final Verdict: THIS FILM DESERVES AN F FOR FAKER!

Do not waste your money on this film, I repeat, do not waste your money on this film! It doesn’t deserve to exist! You want to see a really good Sony Animated related movie? I strongly recommend Hotel Transylvania or Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs.

I guess Chris Pratt divorced Anna Faris because of her poor career choices such as his film along with the live action Alvin & The Chipmunks movies. Karma can sometimes destroy a family. Congratulations Emoji Movie for separating Star-Lord and his Playboy bunny! I hope this movie earns a Razzie for Worst Picture Of The Year!

We must remain vigilant to make sure this doesn’t become a franchise. I implore to spread the truth and let Sony learn from their biggest mistake since The Dark Tower. Please do the right thing for the love of cinema.

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