The Aristocats

After Walt Disney died in 1966 a year before “The Jungle Book came out, the last project he ever green-lit was “The Aristocats.” Released in 1970, (same year my idol, Christopher Nolan was born) it earned solid reviews from critics and movie goers alike. In 2022, Disney announced they’re working on a live-action remake of “The Aristocats” with Questlove set to direct. It’s gonna suck. I have no desire to see it. I’m only interested in “Avengers: Doomsday” and “Spider-Man: Brand New Day” both set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe or MCU for short.

By the way, I’m not gonna see the live-action “Lilo and Stitch” remake. I got plans to see my number one anticipating movie of 2025, “Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning.” Then, I’m going to attend Fan Expo Dallas 2025 on May 30-June 1. If anybody has plans to go to the convention, please leave a comment.

It doesn’t matter if SPOILERS are listed. The Aristocats sucks. There, I said it!

Rich & Poor Elements

Rich: Phil Harris (Little John from Robin Hood) & Eva Gabor both did a fair job for their respective voiceover performances.

Scatman Crothers provides the voice of Scat Cat. He’s known for his roles as Jazz from the original “Transformers” & “The Shining.”

Mademe Adelaide’s favorite tune is “Habanera” from the opera, “Carmen.” It was also used in other works.

• The Bad News Bears and the 2005 remake
• The Hudsucker Proxy
• Trainspotting
• Magnolia
• Bad Santa
• Up
• An episode of Westworld – Dissonance Theory

Poor: Wolfgang Reitherman failed to make changes to script. He only made two good Disney animated movies “Robin Hood” and “The Rescuers.”

A cat playing on a piano is depicted as a racist caricature like the Siamese cats from “Lady and the Tramp.” Decades Later, Disney continues to portray characters as offensive stereotypes. For instance, Geneal Holdo & Poe Dameron from The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy. The former acts like a girlboss know-it-all and the latter gets dumber as each movie progresses. Some things never change.

I did not laugh at the jokes. Except for one when the cats walk like the goose twins shaking their butts.

I know they’re little kids, but their singing is so annoying like Russell Crowe in “Les Miserables.” In the words of Simon Cowell, “What the bloody hell was that?” It’s not easy teaching children singing lessons. You gotta be precise.

I didn’t care about every single character. They’re not memorable at all. O’Malley isn’t charismatic like James Bond, Captain Kirk or Tony Stark/Iron Man.

For animated movie that’s 79-minutes long, I was miserably bored. I’d rather rewatch Zack Snyder’s four-hour cut of “Justice League.”

Edgar is one of the most incompetent bad guys in movie history along with any pre-2006 James Bond villain minus Alec from “Goldeneye” & Maleficent in OG “Sleeping Beauty.” Why didn’t Edgar plant poison in the cats’ milk instead of sleeping pills? He’s not on the same level of sadistic villains listed below.

• Mr. Blonde – Reservoir Dogs
• Norman Stansfield – Leon: The Professional
• Commodus – Gladiator
• Syndrome – The Incredibles
• Le Chiffre – Casino Royale
• Joker – The Dark Knight
• Hans Landa – Inglorious Basterds
• Calvin Candie – Django Unchained
• Art the Clown – Terrifier series
• Donald Pierce – Logan
• Pennywise – It: Chapters 1-2 (2017-2019)
• High Evolutionary – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Two random scenes have nothing to with the plot.

1. Bill Thompson’s last ever role is Uncle Waldo. A drunk goose. His character doesn’t contribute to the plot whatsoever. Ending a career on a whimper.
2. Edgar struggles to retrieve his gear from hounds took approximately five minutes. Could’ve used a pair of binoculars and a pair of dog treats to distract them. Saves less time. Solid Snake from the “Metal Gear Solid” series has more prep time than this bozo.

Edgar’s scheme to get rid of the cats later inspired the bad guy’s plan from “Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties.” The worst Garfield movie of all time. YIKES!

There are only five songs. Not enough to be fully established as a musical. Only one’s memorable, “Everybody Wants to be a Cat.”

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

The Aristocats is forgettable piece of kitty excrement. Don’t waste your spare time on this dud. Watch “Shangri-La Frontier” on Crunchyroll. Heck, watch Marvel’s “Thunderbolts.”