Fan4stic (Fox’s Flops Vol. 1 #6)

After “Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer” came out in 2007, Fox (pre-Disney purchase) cancelled a third installment and Silver Surfer spin-off in favor of a reboot as a sign of forgiveness to win back the crowd. Josh Trank (Chronicle) was hired to direct the reboot titled, “Fan4Stic.” Miles Teller, (Whiplash) Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan (Creed, Creed II, Black Panther) Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot) & Toby Kebbell were recruited to play the titular team & archenemy Dr. Doom. During filming, Fox interfered with Josh’s vision forcing him to reshoot scenes causing lots of problems ultimately resulting in a miscalculation.

Fan4Stic was released in 2015. (same year Mad Max: Fury Road came out) It was critically panned and labeled a box office bomb. Fan4Stitc won a Razzie Award for “Worst Picture” alongside “Fifty Shades Of Grey.” Plans for a sequel was cancelled.

After Disney is bought by Fox, Marvel Studios is currently developing a reboot of Fantastic Four set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU for short) with Jon Watts (Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man: Far From Home) onboard to direct. As of February 2021, no confirmation of who’s gonna play Mr. Fantastic, The Invisible Woman, The Human Torch & my favorite of the team The Thing. Before the upcoming reboot comes out in the future, I want to share my thoughts on this god-awful gritty reboot.

I don’t given a hoot about SPOILERS.

Smart & Dumb Qualities

Smart: Dan Castellaneta (voice of Homer Simpson and some of the residents from The Simpsons) makes a cameo appearance as Reed’s high school teacher. I guess Dan needed money to pay off bills.

Tim Heidecker (half of Tim & Eric) makes a cameo appearance as Reed’s father.

Stan Lee made the right choice not to make a cameo in this POS clunker.

This best of is the Marvel logo before the movie starts.

Dumb: The reboot lacks Action Sequences. Previews show some action with The Team about to kick butt. Fox scrapped Josh Trank’s vision. Fox has an unhealthy habit interfering with movies since “Alien 3.” Don’t forget “Dark Phoenix” forcing Simon Kimberg to reshoot a couple scenes. Josh Trank himself blames Fox’s interference. I completely agree with him. It’s not Josh’s fault, it’s the studio’s lack of faithfulness to the source material. When will Fox learn from their past mistakes?

I’m not hundred percent sure if Matthew Vaughn is to blame, but he might’ve made a big boo boo interfering with Josh’s project.

Lighting only relies on shadows, dim lights and no variety of color. A lighthearted character needs flavors reflecting his/her personality. Batman gets a pass, because shadows, dim lights and lack of color reflects a neo-noir atmosphere. Fantastic Four doesn’t belong in the neo-noir genre.

Unlike the comics, The Team lack chemistry. They barley worked together until their so-called “final battle” with Doom. I never cared for any of them.

C.G.I. is laughably bad. A monkey used as a test subject for a teleportation experiment is obviously in C.G.I. Caesar & the rest of the apes from “Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes” are more fully detailed than this rejected remastered edition of “Ape Escape.”

Costume Designs for The Team’s outfits look nothing like their signature form fitting blue spandex from the comics. The 2005 version got their outfits right.

The Tone for the reboot is taking itself too seriously. A textbook example not every comic book character doesn’t need a darker and edgier reboot. Care to explain “Man Of Steel?” Now I get why Marvel Studios rejected Edgar Wright’s gritty take on “Ant-Man.” Fox is trying too hard imitating “The Dark Knight Trilogy” & “Unbreakable.”

Doom’s appearance looks nothing like his signature mask and green cape from the comics. Doom in this version looks like Bender from “Futurama.” First Deadpool got his mouth shut in “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” now Doom is a butt ugly rip-off of Bender. Gonna have to Triple Down Points for butchering one of the most iconic Marvel villains in his history into a laughing stock.

After Ben transforms as The Thing, he never wears a pair of pants throughout the film. That does it! Time to Double Down this flaw! Take notes Marvel Studios & Jon Watts. Ben needs pants not walk around naked.

After Johnny’s father dies from the hands of Doom, he doesn’t show any emotion. Who’s Michael B. Jordan’s acting coach Tommy Wiseau? Thank goodness Mike went on to star in good movies like “Creed,” it’s sequel & “Black Panther.”

A portal in the sky is a cheap imitation of The Climatic Battle from “The Avengers.” Unlike The Avengers, Fan4Stic is underwhelming lacking emotional/physical stakes.

The First Act takes friggin’ forever for The Team to finally get teleport themselves. “Interstellar” didn’t feel boring, because The First Act managed to give proper build up fleshing out Earth’s crops dying, Cooper’s past experience, his family and willing to save humanity at the cost of leaving his family. Fan4Stic lacks the same emotional impact from Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece.

Reed, Ben, Johnny & Doom’s reason why they test themselves in the teleportation device is when they drank too much alcohol. Jeff Goldblum’s version of “The Fly” perfectly executed Seth Brundle’s drunken decision thinking his love interest still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend, ultimately leading up his botched teleportation when a fly got inside the teleporter with him. The Team however, was a stupid idea lacking characterization.

Doom mentioned Neil Armstrong invented the Apollo 11 space shuttle. Seriously? One of the smartest bad guys from Marvel thinks Neil built the space shuttle.

The Final Scene interrupts Reed’s last lines. Somebody at Fox probably went incognito copying the last scene from “Avengers: Age Of Ultron.”

Product Placement featuring brands such as Dr. Pepper, Orange Crush, Toyota, Samsung, Dell

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

Fan4stic sucks monkey balls butchering Marvel’s first team into a misguided cluster fudge. Every single flaw I’ve listed, serves as a textbook not every superhero needs a darker and edgier reboot. Do not, I repeat, do not waste your spare time watching Fan4Stic. I hope Marvel Studios can make a proper movie based on Fantastic Four. I’m counting on Jon Watts. I have faith in him. He’s gonna need help from Peyton Reed, James Gunn & Taika Waititi. All three directors managed to turn a cheesy hero into a beloved character.

Dear Cast Of Fan4Stic, y’all took a gamble, yet it failed to live up expectations. I’m grateful you guys and gals are moving on pushing your careers forward pretend this stinker never existed. I don’t blame you, I blame Fox. Look at the bright side, a sequel is cancelled. Meaning you can do whatever you want as long as you make the right choice.

Sincerely, Nick Kohler/Nick The Movie Critic

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