Flashback Review: Jungle 2 Jungle

Hello fellow movie goers from around the globe. Today’s “Flashback Review” is a Disney film starring Tim Allen as a New York businessman, Michael Cromwell, who learns that he has a son named, Mimi-Siku from a previous marriage. Turns out his child is from some sort of African tribe raised by the people who taught him their lifestyle. Michael reluctantly takes his son to The Big Apple, this hilarity ensues. The premise I’m referring to is “Jungle 2 Jungle.”

Jungle 2 Jungle was released in 1997. (same year Boogie Nights came out) It received negative reviews from critics and movie goers alike. Although a critical flop, it made enough money at the box office.

This review contains crucial SPOILERS. If you haven’t seen this movie, read at your own risk. Is Jungle 2 Jungle good or bad? Time to find out.

Smart & Stupid Elements

Smart: Tim Allen did a solid job for his performance.

Martin Short also did a solid job for his performance.

The late David Ogden Stiers (voice of Cogsworth from Beauty & The Beast, also voiced Dr. Jumba from Lilo & Stitch) plays a Russian mobster.

Michael made fun of Yoko Ono (John Lennon’s widow) comparing her to a toucan who can’t sing as “Hoko Ono.”

A fart joke made me laugh so hard. I love fart scenes. They never get too old.

Michael called Mimi’s tripe “Pirates Of The Caribbean.” Six Years Later, Jerry Bruckheimer produced “Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl.”

One joke that made me laugh, is when Michael teaches Mimi how to use a toilet by lifting the seat. Michael tells him to put the seat down or else a war with women will result in many deaths.

Leelee Sobieski, who plays Karen went on to co-star in Stanley Kubrick’s “Eyes Wide Shut” as a teenage floozy involved with the Russian Mafia. I see what Kubrick did. Sneaky!

Fun Fact: Stanley Kubrick nearly casted Hayley Mills as “Lolita.” Unfortunately her parents forbid, believing it would’ve jeopardize her onscreen image.

Stupid: John Pasquin (The Santa Clause) did a horrific job for directing the film.

I know it’s supposed to be a Fish Out Of Water comedy, but Mimi lacks common sense when he sneaks away to go to The Statue Of Liberty without Michael. I understand New York City is a nice place to go on vacation, but it’s not really safe, because some districts like Harlem is dangerous.

Mimi is the worst aspect in the entire movie. I have a variety of reasons he’s not a good person. I never cared about him trying to adapt in New York City.

Chemistry between Michael & Mimi felt stale. Like bread not properly wrapped.

Mimi crosses a huge line. He murders a neighbor’s pet bird with a bow & arrow onscreen! This isn’t a Coen Brothers film, it’s a film specifically made for families to spend quality time. “The Lion King” handled an infamous death scene in a mature way, not played for laughs. Gonna have to Double Down Points for kids or animal lovers who are possibly mentally scarred for life.

Mimi cooks and eats Richard’s pet fish. First birds, now fish. Who raised this kid The Joker?!

This could not get any stupider. Mimi reacts happily at Charlotte’s “pushy pushy” I did not make this up, he actually said those words. What the hell is this Disney’s “Boogie Nights?!”

Guys I swear to god I’m totally not making this up, Mimi-Siku’s means “cat piss.” I thought this was a Disney movie for kids? What’s next name future lead characters Boner & Prick?

An optional con if you’re a big time arachnophobe like me, Mimi owns a huge tarantula the size of a palm. To put salt in the wound, extreme close-ups often show its face. It made me scream like Marv from “Home Alone.” Disney, stop provoking people who suffer from a fear of spiders!

Mimi ignores the fact that his pet is about to get squashed by his father. As an arachnophobe myself, I would’ve high tailed it out telling Mimi to put it away.

Mimi gets an early girlfriend. She turns out to be Michael’s business partner Richard. Disney has a bad habit for pairing two people, regardless not getting to know each other for several days. I hate early romances, they get on my nerves. In real life, having a boyfriend/girlfriend instantly won’t work.

I realized Mimi’s mother is the cause on not giving Mimi tips and teach him to socialize with Michael. What I’m trying to say is that bitch is the reason Mimi is a reckless brat.

According to Doug Walker/Nostalgia Critic, he reacts in disgust when Mimi calls Richard’s daughter Karen an angel. Doug gives a pep talk to future screenwriters not to call somebody an angel.

The movie is dated. For example Michael works inside one of The Twin Towers. Four years before 9/11 happened.

The Russian Mafia never brought reinforcements to confront Richard.

Product Placement featuring brands such as Nike, Cap’n Crunch, Sony, Coca-Cola & AT&T. I’ll let this con slide, because I couldn’t spot no brand spotted. You win this round Jungle 2 Jungle!

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

Jungle 2 Jungle is visual diarrhea insulting an intellectual’s brain making him/her dumber than a baboon exposing its butt on the cover of Paper Magazine, as in Kim Kardashian’s bubbly ass. All the reasons I’ve listed as stupid, indicates Jungle 2 Jungle lacks any redeeming qualities whatsoever. If you’re an animal lover, this movie is gonna piss you off. If you want to watch a jungle related movie, go watch Disney’s “Tarzan.”

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