Please Stand By

On October 2017, (same year Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk came out) Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban & his film company “Magnolia Pictures,” distributed a film titled, “Please Stand By” shown in several films festivals such as one located in Austin, Texas. Which is the state I’m actually from. Three Months Later, the film was eventually released simultaneously in limited theaters & on-demand. It received mixed reviews from critics. Sources for the film budget is unknown. I don’t know how much dough they spent but it made $404,356 at the box office. Not really enough for Sinbad to pay off an $8 million debt to The IRS.

Please Stand By stars Dakota Fanning (one of my favorite actresses) as Wendy, an aspiring yet gifted screenwriter on the spectrum who goes on a one woman journey to Hollywood in an attempt to submit her screenplay to a “Star Trek” writing contest.” The grand prize is worth $100,000. If she wins, she’ll finally get to see her sister & baby niece. Then, Wendy might use her cash to buy back her childhood home.

With the highly anticipated “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood” directed by Quentin Tarantino slated for a release date on July 26th, I thought about sharing my thoughts about Dakota’s movie connected to Hollywood similar to her other movie “The Runaways.” Whether it centers around the film industry, television or music industry, each branch is connected like a strand of DNA.

Today’s review contains very important SPOILERS. If you haven’t seen this film, read at your own risk.

Logical & Illogical Aspects

Logical: Dakota Fanning did a great job for her performance as Wendy.

Fun Fact: Before Dakota signed on to play a villain in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, Quentin Tarantino himself is a real life Trekkie. (a lifelong Star Trek fan) Quentin’s favorite Star Trek film is “The Wrath Of Khan.”

Other Cast Members such as Toni Colette, Alice Eve, Toni Revolori, (Flash Thompson from Spider-Man: Homecoming) Jessica Rothe & America’s geek Patton Oswalt all did a solid job for their respective performances. Patton himself is a real life geek. Check out his Star Wars/Marvel crossover idea he did on “Parks & Recreation.”

Alice Eve was also in “Star Trek: Into Darkness.” I would assume Dakota & The Crew ignored the fact Alice was in a Star Trek movie.

Cinematography felt normal without suffering technical issues.

Wendy wears a red sweater mostly throughout the film. A nod to “Redshirt” a recurring element in the Star Trek franchise known for killing minor characters wearing a red uniform. Except its main characters Jean-Luc Picard, William Riker, Uhura & Scotty.

As the film progresses, Wendy learns to adapt to her surroundings. She never gives up when it comes to difficult obstacles blocking her path.

If you’re a fan of “Stranger Things” like me, Matt Cardarople (Keith the arcade manager) plays a Cinnabon employee. I would assume Dakota is a fan of Stranger Things.

Scotty is named after a member of the original Star Trek series. You know the phrase, “Beam me up Scotty!”

The film takes place during the month of February. In real life, Dakota was actually born on February, 1994. She’s a year younger than me.

Wendy is an expert of stealth. “The League Of Shadows” (from The Dark Knight Trilogy) needs to recruit her on dangerous missions to challenge The World’s Greatest Detective.

Illogical: The trailer for the film accidentally gave away the movie. If a trailer unintentionally spoils a huge plot element, it automatically subtracts a point down. Why didn’t anybody in the film industry take notes on Batman VS. Superman’s trailer for accidentally showing Doomsday?!

Audrey is unintentionally unsympathetic. Wanna know why? I’ll explain. When Wendy’s sister Audrey pays a visit. Wendy tried to persuade her sister to let her see her niece. Unfortunately, Audrey refuses, because she thinks Wendy is not capable of taking care of a baby. So why the hell does she own a friggin’ chihuahua?! It’s the closest thing for somebody to raise a kid. Well kinda. Audrey is a complete moron who doesn’t realize her younger sister has changed.

A Plot Hole involving why Wendy didn’t tell Scotty, her caretaker about the writing contest. Let me get this straight. Wendy, who keeps everything organized, never told Scotty about the contest. I have to Double Down this con because it broke my “Suspension Of Disbelief.” I’m gonna come clean y’all. I’m also on the spectrum, but not way too over-the-top.

Wendy being placed in a boarding home doesn’t seem like the place she’s in right now. I know it’s for her own good, but she’s actually capable of taking care of herself. The place she’s in ain’t Arkham Asylum. For someone on the spectrum, she obstacles in the real world. Care to explain YouTube movie critic Jonathan Rozanski/Mr. Enter? He’s also on the spectrum without going totally insane. I seem to have a dislike towards him, because he’s a pretentious douchebag.

Another Plot Hole involving submitting a script. Wendy never looked up the details on how to submit a script, rather than going on foot in person. She owns a computer before she left. It seems outta character to forget important details. Plankton from “SpongeBob SquarePants” has a computer for a wife named Karen who gives him coordinates to locate Mr. Krabs’ krabby patty secret formula.

The Ending was a Debbie Downer as in SNL. Wendy never won the contest. After all she went through, I find it underwhelming. Requiem For A Dream’s ending work, because it shows the effects of the main characters. I can’t tell you all the details. See for yourself. I have to give Please Stand By’s ending an Extra Point Down. “Logan” with Wolverine had a better ending than this piece of dog s**t’

Product Placement (Pee Pee for short) featuring brands including Cinnabon, Coca-Cola, Apple, Pop Chips, M&M’s, Snickers, Hostess & Dasani.

The Final Verdict: D-

Please Stand By is a degenerate film lacking a logical narrative without telling a proper character based film about making it big in Hollywood in order to reunite with a close relative. If you wanna watch a better movie about making it big in Hollywood, I strongly recommend “Boogie Nights.” That’ll keep you entertained from beginning to end. Make sure you don’t let your kids watch it.

I hope Dakota bounces back into the big screen if her performance in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood might resurrect her career. Dakota if you’re reading this article, I am a huge fan of your work. I’m counting on you to make the right decisions based on your career. Like I said before, I’m actually on the spectrum. That’s right I had to come clean to get it off my chest.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s