Jack And Jill

Greetings & salutations my fellow movie goers from around the world. Today’s review is one of the worst motion pictures in cinematic history starring Adam Sandler as twins in “Jack & Jill.” Too bad it’s not based on a beloved fairy tale.

Jack & Jill was released in 2011. It was critically panned by many critics and movie goers alike. The film surprisingly recoup its expenses at the box office. Jack & Jill went on to earn every single Razzie Award at The 32nd Golden Razzie Awards surpassing Lindsay Lohan’s “I Know Who Killed Me.” YIKES!

Now that Adam Sandler has a Netflix special called “Adam Sandler: 100% Fresh” marked as “Certified Fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes.” I’d like to share my opinion about Jack & Jill, a film Adam will never live it down.

The following review contains very important SPOILERS. If you are shockingly interested in seeing Jack & Jill, so be it. I’ll do my best not to steal any jokes from Nostalgia Critic’s review of the film.

Normal & Abnormal Aspects

Normal: Adam Sandler only did a stable job for his performance as Jack.

Al Pacino portrays himself showing off his comedic chops. It’s not his fault he had to participate in this movie. Maybe Al is one of Adam’s favorite actors or possibly Al’s a fan of Adam’s films.

Adam’s friends, Allen Covert, Peter Dante & Jonathan Loughran have cameo appearances.

Allen Covert’s character, Otto from “Happy Gilmore” appears in this movie. I would assume that Adam Sandler’s non-dramatic entries take place in the “Happy Madison Cinematic Universe.” (HMCU for short)

Fart Scenes made me laugh uncontrollably. Fart jokes always give me a chuckle.

Besides fart jokes, the only joke that made me laugh is when Jill accidentally destroyed Al’s only Academy Award for “Best Actor” from his performance in “Scent Of A Woman.”

In one scene or two, Al wears his iconic black suit that his iconic character, Tony Montana wore in “Scarface.”

Many famous faces including Johnny Depp, Regis Philbin, Shaquille “Shaq” O’Neal, Drew Carey, Christine Brinkley & Dan Patrick make cameo appearances.

Electric Light Orchestra’s “Don’t Bring Me Down” is played during a montage sequence. The song was also used in “Super 8” which came out the same year as Jack & Jill.

Fun Fact: Johnny Depp worked with Al Pacino in “Donny Brasco.” They’re good friends in real life.

SNL alumni such as Norm Macdonald, Tim Meadows, Dana Carvey & David Spade make small appearances. It’s rare for Adam to not cast his buddy, Rob Schneider. Rob is only mentioned by David.

Al said he wants the Dunkin’ Donuts removed. What he said, kinda reflects his true feelings about the script for Jack & Jill. However, it was too late for Al as he signed on without reading the script before participating in this epic clunker that nearly drilled his career. It’s the equivalent of selling your soul to The Devil.

Abnormal: Adam Sandler’s performance as Jill was painfully excruciating. His voice sounded like he was possessed by Kristen Schaal. She’s the voice of Louise Belcher from “Bob’s Burgers” & Mabel Pines from “Gravity Falls.”

Adam’s style of humor has already worn out, adding no new ingredients whatsoever. He also co-wrote the screenplay.

Jack’s family are too stupid to realize how Jill can be very irritating.

Jill keeps forgetting he/she’s referencing movies like “It’s A Wonderful Life,” “Pretty Woman” & “Titanic.” Dory from “Finding Nemo” has better memory than him/her.

Jill runaway to sleep in the woods crying like a kindergartner. First of all, he’s/she’s an adult. He/She can go to a hotel to stay for one night. Second he/she can use some cash or a credit card.

Jill is oblivious towards modern day technology. He/she thinks Skype is an anti-Semitic slur, has no idea what The Internet means. Why does he/she carries a cellphone? Captain America is capable of adapting society after being frozen for 70 years.

I didn’t find Jill to be a compelling a character. I find him/her annoying, as in scratching nails on a chalkboard.

While watching a movie with Jack, Jill answers his/her phone inside a movie theater filled with a bunch of people. Remember each showing tells you not to ruin a movie by talking or answering your phone before the film starts? Jill ignored two big rules.

Former Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle, makes a cameo appearance. Too bad he turned out to be a pedophile. Jared’s is now serving his sentence and he finally got a taste of his own “medicine.”

Bruce Jenner (now Caitlin Jenner) who no longer has a “pee pee,” (or possibly still has one) makes a cameo appearance. Adam missed a golden opportunity to make fun of him/her. Trey Parker & Matt Stone finally mocked his/her personality. Sorry Adam, I leave you no choice but to Double Down this con for hiring a “hero” & has never been to prison for vehicular manslaughter.

Denis Dugan (a longtime collaborator Of Adam) did a rubbish job for directing.

Jill’s love interest, Felipe constantly uses his catchphrase, “I’m kidding!” It becomes predictable without saying anything funny other than his two words.

Like his other films, “Grown Ups,” “Grown Ups 2,” “Blended” & “The Do-Over,” I believe this movie is just an excuse for Adam & his pals to go on a vacation, instead of telling a cohesive story.

Product Placement is all over the place featuring many brands such as Pepto Bismol, Coca-Cola, (courtesy of Sony) Sony, (duh) American Airlines, YouTube, Dunkin’ Donuts, Bud Light & Oreo’s. OH MY GOODNESS! Adam has an obsession with brands! Somebody give him some counseling involving his unhealthy habits.

The End Credits shows various twins confessing about their feelings for one other. How am I supposed to laugh at this? Jackie Chan’s outtakes from any of his films are beyond superior than a boring interview.

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

Jack & Jill is arguably one of the worst movies ever made. It doesn’t deserve to exist, it belongs as one of Satan’s kidney stones, because The Devil himself can feel pain from the inside. Do not, I repeat, do not waste your spare time watching this epic piece of crud! If I were you, I rather read a children’s book about the real Jack & Jill not that visual abomination.

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