Flashback Review: Atlantis: Milo’s Return

After Atlantis: The Lost Empire failed to make enough revenue at the box office, Disney worked on a follow up to the original called Atlantis: Milo’s Return.

Atlantis: Milo’s Return was released in 2003 as one of Disney’s direct-to-video sequels, or as TV Tropes calls them, “Cheapquels” next to unnecessary clunkers like Beauty & The Beast: The Enchanted Christmas, The Hunchback Of Notre Dame II, Cinderella II & III, last but not least Mulan II. At first, Milo’s Return was supposed to kickstart an animated series called, Team Atlantis, which focuses on Milo’s allies going on solo adventures similar to Star Wars: The Clone Wars involving a supporting character headlining a selected episode.

With the upcoming release of Natalie Portman’s Annihilation, I’ve decided to reveal my real thoughts about Milo’s Return. Annihilation has a similar premise to both Stargate & Atlantis: The Lost Empire. Don’t forget to check out my non-spoiler reviews on both of them if you’re excited to see Natalie’s future film as much as I am.

The following review contains big SPOILERS. Read at your own risk. Let’s see what the damage is, shall we?

Intelligent: Most of The Cast Members such as Cree Summer, reprise their roles and did a good job on their performances.

Thomas F. Wilson (Biff from Back To The Future) makes a voiceover appearance as a greedy businessman. Disney why didn’t you bring back Michael J. Fox to reunite with his Back To The Future co-star?

Unintelligent: Every character mispronounces Kraken as “Krayken.” Did anybody refused to re-record their lines to pronounce Kraken properly? Voice acting 101, remember to say the lines in multiple takes during a recording session. Seriously? Has anybody seen Clash Of The Titans?!

Im gonna be brutally honest, The Animation isn’t as breathtaking as the original once made a special impact on me. It is painfully obvious towards the naked eye.

James Arnold Taylor’s performance as Milo, is annoyingly whiner, hearing him makes me want to throw a tomato on his face!

Even though this movie is labeled as a “sequel,” its actually a compilation of episodes unrelated to each other. Turns out Disney pulled a “Bait-And-Switch” on us that Milo’s Return was gonna be a follow up to the original, just a rejected television series disguised as a “sequel.” I’m giving each episode three points down combing all of them as nine points down the toilet, because Disney lied to us for not constructing a beginning, middle & end!

The Three Episodes are not interconnected to each other. What if Christopher Nolan or Quentin Tarantino decided to come up with a truckload of unrelated plot points that don’t intertwine as one big storyline. It is like a 500 jigsaw puzzle without all the pieces together!

The City Of Atlantis looks nothing like the original’s fully detailed complex design. Imagine if Blade Runner 2049 was made as a cheaply made direct-to-video film without its complex immersion of world building?!

Milo & Kida’s possible unnamed child is only shown during the final scene. I don’t know anything about her.

Each interesting bad guy is a wasted opportunity to pick a certain antagonist as a real villain of “the sequel.” Gosh darn it, I have to Double Down this flaw for making me push my buttons!

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

In my opinion, Atlantis: Milo’s Return is an appalling pile of shiitake mushrooms! Dang it Disney, you just had to destroy a golden opportunity to trick us viewers to buy cheaply made direct-to-video sequels to your beloved theatrical animated movies! Shame on you for betraying me! Do not, I repeat, do not waste your hard earned cash on this clunker! Congratulations Disney for ruining my childhood with your greedy tactics on tricking children into spending their money on your poorly made sequels! No wonder Michael J. Fox decided not to reprise his role as Milo! If Jim Varney (may he Rest In Peace) were alive, he would’ve disowned Milo’s Return!

If you want to watch a way better animated film that leads up to a cartoon series, I highly recommend Star Wars: The Clone Wars & the titular series which used to air on Cartoon Network.

Disney if you’re reading this, I hope you don’t screw up the upcoming sequels to Wreck-It-Ralph or The Incredibles 2. You should scrap every single copy related to direct-to-video sequels we never wanted. To this day, it’s still becoming a problem for consumers!

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