Flashback Review: Batman & Robin

After the financial success of Batman Forever. Movie Studio, Warner Bros. (WB for short) decided to develop a follow up to the film, in an attempt to market as a way to sell merchandise for kids ranging from toys, clothes, food products, and construct a Mr. Freeze ride at Six Flags. Val Kilmer decided to call it quits, because he had other things to do, forcing the studio to replace Val with George Clooney as Batman in the film that nearly destroyed his career, is none other than Batman & Robin.

Batman & Robin was released in 1997. Upon release, the film was critically panned by critics and fans alike as they considered Batman & Robin as one of the worst movies of all time. It went on to earn Razzie nominations.

With the upcoming release of Teen Titans Go To The Movies, I want to share my fellow movie goers on what happens if you see one of your childhood icons, being treated like sewage. Joel Schumacher, said that he’s sorry for making this movie, it wasn’t his fault to take creative control, it was WB, his only intention was to entertain people. George Clooney also regretted partaking in this picture, whenever somebody mentions Batman & Robin, George takes out his wallet, and gives it to random individuals as an apology.

This review contains SPOILERS. If you’re shockingly interested in this movie, don’t read this, if not, go ahead.

Positive: A Pause Worthy Moment showing Riddler & Two-Face’s costumes inside an evidence room located in Arkham Asylum.

The only good element in this film, are the scenes between Bruce & Alfred.

Michael Gough & Pat Hingle, are the only two actors two appear in previous Batman films since Tim Burton directed the first Batman film.

Negative: The Main Cast including, George Clooney, Chris O’Donnell, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman, & Alicia Silverstone, all did a terrible job on their performances.

George Clooney played as himself, rather than two entities. He’s good as Bruce Wayne, but’s he didn’t embrace the dark and broody personality of Batman. Because both personalities contrast one other. George lacked an intimidating baritone, or a raspy whisper.

The Characterization of Mr. Freeze, wasn’t portrayed as a serious Shakespearean tragic neutral villain who wants his beloved back, he’s more like a one dimensional cackling Snidely Whiplash from Dudley-Do-Right.

Dialogue is painfully cringeworthy, filled with Mr. Freeze’s terrible ice puns, Poison Ivy’s sexual innuendos and cliched lines such as, “curses!”

Poor Cinematography featuring the use of Dutch Angles.

The Gotham Police never noticed that Mr. Freeze is obviously hiding in an abandoned ice cream factory. They made Commissioner Gordon and his colleagues, look like the cops from Reno 911!

A Plot Hole involving a cure for Mr. Freeze’s wife. Mr. Freeze kept a cure and gives it to Batman in order to cure Alfred from the same disease Freeze’s wife has. This broke my Suspension Of Disbelief, because Freeze would’ve saved her in the very beginning! There’s no point to turn Gotham into an ice rink! I have to Double Down Points for treating Mr. Freeze as an incompetent villain!

Special Effects are very dated. A Green Screen looks obviously fake. They don’t hold up well for a film released in 1997.

Costume Designs look pretty embarrassing with nipples applied on The Batsuits. I’m not making this up, there are close-up shots of Batman & Robin’s butts during while they gear up in The Batcave.

Robin is way more brattier than his first appearance in Batman Forever.

In her first live action appearance, Barbara Gordon/Batgirl, is related to Alfred, as his niece, in the comics, she’s actually Commissioner Gordon’s daughter. Instead being born in America, she’s from England. Seriously!? Why does she have a thick American accent?

Batgirl unrealistically knows how to fight Poison Ivy and she easily beats her. In the real world, it’ll take months or years to master fighting techniques.

When Barbara enters The Batcave, she somehow has a specialized Batsuit. Alfred has somehow managed to design it for her.

A Bike Race has nothing to do with the main story, it felt like someone accidentally changed the channel and I somehow got bored.

WB turned Bane, into a cheap knock-off of Solomon Grundy. In the comics, the real Bane, is an intelligent strategist/tactician, and shockingly broke Batman’s back! He’s DC’s equivalent to Darth Vader. He ain’t a simpleton!

Let us take a moment of silence for introducing the infamous Bat Credit Card. Doug Walker/Nostalgia Critic already did a rant about it on his review for he film, so here’s my take on the credit card. What I think about Batman’s credit card is because he doesn’t realize that a credit card will give away your personal info. Think of it as Kim Kardashian, giving away a location by using her Instagram account, by checking in at a hotel, which cause the jewel robbers to invade her room. Kim, if you’re reading this, it’s your own dang fault for giving away your location on Instagram, as a wealthy celeb, you have to think before you act when you’re trying to be discreet as possible! No wonder you’re a delusional bimbo!

This didn’t feel like a Batman movie, it was more like a two hour episode of Power Rangers, because Saban only makes the show to market a toyline, rather focusing on just the story and characters as people caught in extraordinary circumstances.

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

Don’t waste your time on this Razzie winner! I beg you to watch the whole thing from beginning to end! If you wanna see an excellent superhero movie, I strongly recommend The Dark Knight Trilogy, Wonder Woman, Justice League etc. Batman & Robin is a cautionary reminder on what not to do, when you’re making a superhero movie. WB if you’re reading this, takes notes on my review and Nostalgia Critic’s take on this picture, if you wanna improve the DC Extended Universe.

Christopher Nolan, if you’re reading this, I want to thank you for resurrecting the Batman films, I’m a great admirer of your work. You are my number one idol.

I want Emma Stone to play Batgirl, because she’s perfect for the role.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s