Norm Of The North

The best way to describe “Norm Of The North” is in fact, complete garbage! I don’t wanna summarize the history behind this epic disaster. This is what happens if you don’t double check on the screenplay to see if there is anything that needs to be removed, or add a coherent story. This in particular is extremely incoherent.

Norm Of The North was released in January 2016. (same year Captain America: Civil War came out) It was critically panned and was a box office failure. If Roger Ebert (god bless his soul) were alive to see this picture, he would’ve given it zero stars and two thumbs down because his most hated actor all of time was Rob Schneider.

The Following review contains SPOILERS. Read at your own risk. Let’s see if a movie about a talking Polar Bear is worse than the animated epic failure like “Foodfight.” Let us begin shall we?

Positive & Negative Aspects

Positive: The Lemmings farting on command, is the only good part that made me laugh.

Negative: I’m not an expert on animal life, but do Polar Bears eat Seals?

Do Tourists go to Antarctica on vacation? I’m not exactly sure if this is a thing in real life.

Norm twerks in this film. Didn’t anybody witnessed Miley Cyrus & Robin Thicke at “The 2013 MTV Music Awards?” Think of the children for the love of cinema!

The Lemmings never had a backstory or where they’re actually from.

Most of The Citizens of New York can’t tell the difference between a Polar Bear outfit and a REAL Polar Bear. This broke my Suspension Of Disbelief. Gonna have to Double Down this flaw for making me feel so stupid.

Dutch Angles often appear in certain shots. Does “Battlefield Earth” ring any bells?

I was extremely bored. The Characters are forgettable. I never cared who’s who.

A “Life Flashing Before Your Eyes” Montage of Norm thinking he’s about to die from drowning, I didn’t care about Norm on how much he’s gone through.

A random fight scene doesn’t connect to the plot.

There is no proper explanation on why Norm is able to talk to humans. Eliza from “The Wild Thornberrys” has a better backstory than this lackluster rip-off.

No proper Character Development. Yep the main character never changes from start to finish. He has no life changing experience from his adventure to New York City.

The Jokes weren’t funny, except for that one fart scene.

Death Scenes happened on-screen. Not in a “tragic way. If it’s a dark crime comedy like Pulp Fiction,” I’m ok with it, but for an animated kids movie, its not.

Lack of chemistry involving Norm’s new human friends. His love interest is also a Polar Bear who has no actual romance with him. She doesn’t factor in a lot.

The Main Antagonist’s motivation is a cheap knock off of The Bad Guy from “Hey Arnold: The Movie” or any other villain in a family film. It’s an overused trope in a family film to have a greedy bad guy buying land putting somebody’s home or a habitat in jeopardy.

The Ending was totally weak It cuts to a bittersweet ending to a cheerful dance scene. Did “Old Yeller” ever ended like this or what about any of the “Harry Potter” films? NO! They don’t plan on anything stupid like this piece of cow dung!

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

Do not, I repeat, do not waste your money or time seeing this epic piece of garbage! It doesn’t derseve to be in theaters or home video. If you want to see a better animated film for the whole family, I suggest “Shrek,” “Madagascar” or anything from Pixar. Those are the films you should be watching because they have better Class A quality. Norm Of The North doesn’t deserve to exist in cinema. We need a memory wipe gadget from “Men In Black” to erase that god awful movie.

Two Direct To DVD films have been announced, don’t waste your time on them, save your money on something else like a legit video game. If I were you, don’t waste your spare time in the future for encouraging producers to make a truckload of sequels! This shoulda got a Razzie for “Worst Animated Feature” Of 2016.

One thought on “Norm Of The North

  1. This is what Norm of the North really is basically.

    Also I’ve seen trailers for that stupid emoji movie, I bet that’s going to make Norm of the North look like Ocarina of Time or Counter Strike.

    Like

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