Terms Of Endearment

In 1975, novelist/screenwriter the late Marry McMurty (The Last Picture Show, Lonesome Dove, Brokeback Mountain) published a book titled, “Terms Of Endearment.” Eight Years Later, James L. Brooks (The Simpsons, As Good As It Gets) adapted the book into a movie starring Shirley MacLaine, (Warren Beatty’s real life sister) Debra Winger & Jack Nicholson.

Terms Of Endearment was released in 1983. (same year Scarface came out) It received critical acclaim from critics and movie goers alike. Terms Of Endearment won Oscars for “Best Director,” (James L. Brooks) “Best Actress,” (Shirley MacLaine) “Best Supporting Actor,” (Jack Nicholson) & “Best Picture.” Both film and book spawned a sequel called, “The Evening Star.” Unlike its predecessor, it received negative reviews and bombed at the box office.

Awards Season is ongoing from November to March until The 2022 Academy Award air in the latter month. I have a confession, I dislike Terms Of Endearment. When I first saw it, I was miserably underwhelmed. Then, I made a shocking discovery “Scarface” (my favorite movie of 1983) was snubbed. The Oscars made a big mistake. I’m not trying to push anybody’s buttons. I just wanna share my thoughts on Terms Of Endearment to see if I can change my opinion on it.

This review contains SPOILERS. If you’re somewhat interested in seeing Terms Of Endearment, watch the movie or read the book first. If not, so be it. Can James L. Brooks’ directorial debut change my opinion? Let’s find out shall we?

Nice & Mean Aspects

Nice: Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, (who has been around for decades) Jack Nicholson, Jeff Daniels, John Lithgow & Danny DeVito all did a solid job for their respective performances.

A car scene near the beach is the only part that made me laugh.

Cinematography never had any technical problems.

Mean: James L. Brooks did a horrendously bad job for his directorial debut.

I’m utterly appalled Terms Of Endearment won Best Picture instead of Scarface. I have no choice but to Triple Down The Oscars making another mistake in the past along with movies that don’t deserve Best Picture like “Kramer VS. Kramer,” “Ordinary People,” “Chariots Of Fire,” “Gandhi,” “Out Of Africa,” “The Last Emperor,” “Dances With Wolves,” “The English Patient,” “Shakespeare In Love,” “American Beauty,” “Crash,” “Slumdog Millionaire,” “The Hurt Locker,” “The King’s Speech,” “The Artist,” “Spotlight,” “Moonlight,” “The Shape Of Water,” “Nomadland.”

Besides Scarface snubbed for Best Picture, Al Pacino, Oliver Stone & Brian De Palma we’re all snubbed for “Best Actor,” Best Director & “Best Original Screenplay.”

Music is too whimsical. I find it annoying. To quote Plankton from “SpongeBob SquarePants.” “It’s too cute, it’s disgusting!” I had to wash away the soundtrack by listening to Mac Miller’s final album, “Circles.”

Shocking Fact: Vince Vaughn & Judd Apatow mentioned Terms Of Endearment is one of their favorite movies. Sorry, but they have bad taste in movies.

The movie is boring as fudge. I wasn’t emotionally invested with every single character. I’d rather play “The Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild.” It’s more entertaining than this piece of hippo crap.

Although one joke made me laugh, I didn’t laugh at any funny moment.

After a disastrous first date, Aurora invites Garret to “seal the deal” with her. Nobody ever invites a guy or gal after the first date. In real life it’ll take weeks or months for two people to get to know one other before they get down while listening to “Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing.”

Flat compliments saying “ You have a swell ass.” Who the heck says that to a newlywed?

Remember that part with Emma catching Flak cheating on her with a college student? Turns out Emma is a hypocritical hoe. Why? Because she has an affair with a guy.

Dialogue error with Emma said “It’s very nice to met you.” Correct way to say it is this… “It was very nice to meet you.” Screenwriting 101, double check the script for typos, spelling errors or improper grammar.

I didn’t cry over when Emma died. Only movies that made me cry were “Logan,” “Interstellar,” “Boys Don’t Cry,” “Avengers: Endgame,” & “No Time To Die.”

Product Placement (Pee Pee for short) featuring brands such as Fritos, Marabou, Coca-Cola, RC Cola & Burger King. I’ll let this con slide, because I couldn’t find any other brand to shove down my throat.

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

I hate to say it to anybody who likes Terms Of Endearment, I think it’s one big cluster fudge lacking any redeeming qualities. My opinion hasn’t changed nor will ever go 180. This movie is manipulative trying so hard to make me care about the characters going though ups and downs.

From now on, I’m giving Terms Of Endearment an acronym for a disease. “TOE Syndrome.” Because it suffers from an incurable fungus turning a healthy toenail into gold. Not Oscar worthy, but Razzie worthy.

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