Classics Review: Cinderella (1950)

After Walt Disney released notable films in the 40s including “Pinocchio,” “Fantasia,” “Dumbo” & “Bambi.” He began development on adapting his interpretation of “Cinderella.”

Cinderella was released in 1950. (same year The Peanuts & Snoopy made their comic strip debut) It received critical acclaim from critics, families and movie goers alike. In addition to positive reception, it also made enough money at the box office. Numerous interpretations such as “A Cinderella Story” repeat the same story over and over again. A live action remake directed by Kenneth Branagh (Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets, Dunkirk, Tenet) was released in 2015. Like the original, it earned good reviews and was a box office success.

Another interpretation of Cinderella starring Camilla Cabello, Billy Porter & Idina Menzel (the voice of Elsa) will be released in 2021. I’m gonna predict it’ll be an epic clunker. One more thing, a prequel spin-off about The Evil Stepsisters is in development with Kristen Wiig onboard.

I don’t give a rat’s behind if SPOILERS are listed. We’ve already seen countless interpretations of Cinderella in remakes or parodies. Is the original a hit or or miss? Let’s find out, shall we?

Beautiful & Ugly Qualities

Beautiful: Voice Actors did a good job for their respective voiceover performances.

Animation still holds up pretty nicely bringing characters, environmental locations, fluid movement etc.

Opening Narration reveals Cinderella’s backstory. Her father married Lady Tremaine. After he kicked the bucket with no confirmation how he died, Tremaine and her daughters mistreat Cinderella like a housekeeper.

A dog is named, Bruno. I would assume it predates Sacha Baron Cohen’s character from “Da Ali G Show.”

The best part is arguably The Fairy Godmother’s song “Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo.” Every time I hear that tune, I think of Jack Nicholson singing in “Anger Management.”

Besides Cinderella, the only character I cared about is Jaq the Mouse. He has bigger personality than The Prince. Whenever I see him fight for his life against Lucifer the Cat, I want to play “Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep.” At least it told a better story.

At the 59:30 mark, a “Goofy Holler” is heard. Disney’s equivalent to the “Wilhelm Scream.”

Ugly: Sorry folks, Disney didn’t do so well adapting his version.

At the 7:06 mark, an animation error shows Cinderella doesn’t have any toes. If Quentin Tarantino (known for his foot fetish) rated her feet lacking toes, he would’ve he given it a zero out of five stars. Uma’s Thurman’s ugly feet in “Kill Bill” are close enough to win a foot contest.

The First Act is only filler for Cinderella doing her chores and the mice fighting Lucifer the Cat. If you’re gonna begin a movie, you must establish what’s going on in the story. “The Matrix” managed to give us context about Neo living in the titular world. 20% of the film is filler. 80% is a cohesive narrative. All I’m trying to say is plot and character motivation matter.

Tremaine and her daughters never get any comeuppance whatsoever. Imagine if Arthur Fleck’s co-worker Randall, Thomas Wayne & Murray Franklin in Joaquin Phoenix’s “Joker” never “get what they “f**king deserve?” Ugh? Tremaine is basically the animated equivalent of Casey Anthony getting away scot free. I have no choice but to Double Down this con. I wanna go back in time persuading Disney by giving Tremaine and her daughters punishment so they can get what they f**king deserve!

I’m gonna be brutally honest with you fellas. The Prince is boring yet lacks three-dimensional characterization If he’s a focal character, I want to know about his background, affiliation and characteristics. Like The Prince from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs & Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty he’s a one-dimensional character. Caesar from “Rise of the Planet of the Apes Trilogy,” has a bigger complex character arc.

I never cared about Cinderella and The Prince’s chemistry. They’re never given a realistic buildup involving a growing relationship.

Cinderella automatically hooks up with The Prince. If this were real life, it would take a few weeks for them to flesh out their chemistry before a relationship is established. Disney is known for hooking up very fast. I hate this cliche because it feels forced. Why does every Disney princess (minus Belle, Gishelle, Rapunzel, Elsa, Merida) have a one-night stand offscreen with a random guy she just met?

The Final Verdict: D, FOR DESTRUCTIVE DIARRHEA!

I hate to say this longtime Disney fans. The original Cinderella doesn’t hold up so well. As a kid, I really enjoyed it. Now that I’m an adult, I realized it has problems. As a critic, I have to give it some tough love. I’m brutally honest when it comes to classic Disney movies if they didn’t age well. If you’re open to defend Cinderella, so be it. If you want to introduce your kids, grandkids, godkids, nephews, nieces or want to invite your kid’s friends for a watch party, go ahead and show it to them. The only Cinderella I prefer is the late Mac Miller’s song from his album “The Divine Feminine.”

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