Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

After Jurassic World became a commercial hit earning over a billion dollars at the box office, Universal Pictures announced that two sequels were in development with Chris Pratt & Bryce Dallas Howard (Ron Howard’s real life daughter) scheduled to reprise their roles in a second trilogy to the Jurassic Park film franchise based on Michael Crichton’s novel of the same name. Colin Trevorrow, the director of Jurassic World was also scheduled to return to direct the second installment, but didn’t want to come back, he told Steven Spielberg he was only interested in directing one film.

The sole reason why he didn’t want to direct is because he wants fo give other filmmakers a golden opportunity to direct potential films in the franchise. Think of it as a “Passing The Torch” scenario, similar to Christopher Nolan creating the DC Extended Universe as a sign to allow his peers and a new generation of filmmakers to direct superhero movies. Kinda like Bruce Wayne giving his Batsuit to Terry McGinnis in Batman Beyond.

Spanish director J.A. Bayona (A Monster Calls, The Impossible) takes over Colin’s position in the director’s chair. Jeff Goldblum reprises his role twenty one years later as Dr. Ian Malcolm for the first time since Jurassic Park: The Lost World. B.D. Wong who is also an original cast member of Jurassic Park also reprises his role as Dr. Henry Wu, a scientist responsible for bringing the dinosaurs to life.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is currently out nationwide. So far, it is making money at the box office. The fifth installment of the Jurassic Park films earned mixed reviews from critics.

The following review contains potential SPOILERS. If you’ve never ever ever seen Jurassic Park or the other three films, read at your own risk! Does it live up to the original or is it one big pile of you know what as in Jurassic Park III?

Smart & Idiotic Moments

Smart: Chris Pratt & Bryce Dallas Howard reprise their roles as Owen Grady & Claire Dearing, they both did a fantastic job for their respective performances.

Newcomers to the series such as James Cromwell, Ted Levine, Toby Jones, & Rafe Spall, (Timothy Spall’s real life son) all did a good job for their respective performances.

Jeff Goldblum & B.D. Wong reprise their roles as Ian Malcolm & Henry Wu.

A portrait of John Hammond is shown inside Benjamin Lockwood’s mansion. The latter is a former business partner of Hammond.

The scene with Owen, Claire & Franklin fleeing away from lava alongside several dinosaurs is perhaps the high note of the entire movie.

Cinematography looked normal without suffering from any technical difficulties.

Steven Spielberg produced the fifth entry. He also produced Jurassic Park III & Jurassic World.

Visual Effects has some impressive moments. I would’ve given this pro Bonus Points if the effects team mixed C.G.I. with Practical Effects just like the original was unique for mixing old and news tricks.

Michael Giacchino comes back to orchestrate the instrumental score as he did for Jurassic World.

Claire’s nephews didn’t come back. Thank god they didn’t show up, if they did, I would’ve loved to see a T-Rex eating them as a midnight snack.

Idiotic: Jeff Goldblum’s involvement in the film at first, felt promising that he was gonna factor in to help out Owen & Claire to rescue as many dinosaurs as they can. Unfortunately, his role was just a cameo appearance. I’m gonna be brutally honest, he only appears in two scenes. Let me repeat that again, he only appears in TWO SCENES!!!!!! Ian Malcolm, one of Jeff Goldblum’s signature roles was reduced to a small cameo. EGADS!!!!!! This was a wasted opportunity to bring back one of the most popular characters in Jurassic Park! It’s Jared Leto’s reduced role as Joker in Suicide Squad all over again!

Colin Trevorrow did a rubbish job writing the narrative, new characters, plot holes etc.

A new character named, Franklin screams like a girl in one scene when he’s evading a rampaging dinosaur. What he just did resembles Billy (from The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy) screaming like a girl reacting to Jeff The Spider. Am I suppose take him seriously? The only Franklin I would’ve preferred is Franklin Clinton from GTA V.

Another new character Zia Rodriguez is a cheap knock off of Velma from Scooby Doo. What’s next a character who cowardly runs away? Oh wait his name is Franklin who screams like Billy from Billy & Mandy!

A Plot Hole involving construction underneath Lockwood’s mansion to develop genetic engineering, seemed preposterous. Did the old man not hear construction from the bottom? Imagine if Bruce Wayne constructed The Batcave underneath Wayne Enterprises instead of his actual home?

A Second Plot Hole also involves why the lead characters are rescuing dinosaurs while they’re bones located inside the mansion. Remember the opening scene when the mercenaries are retrieving The Indominus Rex’s bones? Why didn’t other scientists also use similar technology to duplicate more dinosaurs instead of going to the abandoned park to rescue the others? Watching the movie felt pointless when it comes to innovative technology.

When Owen & Claire are attempting to extract a blood sample from a T-Rex, it suddenly wakes up roaring and nearly eating Owen alive. Why didn’t the military hear the T-Rex’s roar? Is every military unit incompetent like the entire crew from Sealab 2021?! You can’t enlist in The Army if you’re deaf!

Lockwood’s granddaughter Maisie had a mother who was a former employee of the park who died. I was assuming that Julianne Moore’s character Sarah Harding was gonna appear in a flashback or photo, but it turns out that Maisie is a clone of Lockwood’s deceased daughter. I swear to god I’m not making this up, she’s a clone instead of Harding. Gonna have to Double Down The Plot Twist, because it felt weak. Plus the film wasted an opportunity to bring back Julianne in a cameo!

Rafe Spall’ character Gunnar Eversol felt way to similar to Vincent D’Onofrio’s character Vic Hoskins from the previous film. Both villains intend to use a hybrid dinosaur as a weapon. Gunnar is just a carbon copy without adding a new flavor or a redeeming quality.

The Ending is an obvious example of “Sequel Bait.” Maisie is responsible for releasing all the dinosaurs into the world after nearly suffocating to death. Why did she release most of the carnivorous creatures to the world that’ll eat a bunch of civilians offscreen? Remember what I’ve mentioned about bones that can be duplicated to dinosaurs? To quote the game show host from Billy Madison, “What you just did, is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen, we are all now dumber and may God have mercy on your soul!” I also have to Double Down Maisie for unintentionally man slaughtering countless civilians offscreen! It’s as if she released Jared Fogle out of prison in the worst possible way you could ever imagine!

The Final Verdict: C, FOR CARDI B TAKING A DUMP IN PUBLIC!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is an underwhelming entry not as good as the original or close to Jurassic World. Positive things I’ve listed as smart had its moments, but the flaws I’ve listed as idiotic fell flat on its face. The whole plot is muddled with plot holes, an illogical conflict, unlikable newcomers as in Maisie who’s now considered one of the worst characters in the Jurassic Park franchise next to Tea Leoni’s character Amanda Kirby & Claire’s nephews!

If you want to watch a way better movie, go out and watch Incredibles 2 or Tag. Don’t forget to watch Westworld Season 2 if you’re already caught up with Season 1.

Universal confirmed that Jurassic World III is gonna be out in 2021. My biggest request is to see Amanda Kirby, the nephews & Maisie getting chomped by a T-Rex or getting tackled by stampede full of dinosaurs. Universal or Mr. Spielberg if you’re reading this, I want my request to come true.

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