Gringo

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!! Gringo is a complete epic failure! I refuse to tell you guys & gals the production history behind the picture, because it’s one of the 2018’s critical flops, until Teen Titans Go To The Movies will become the worst film of the year! Here’s my take on Amazon Studios’ movie starring David Oyelowo & Charlize Theron, who also co-produced Gringo.

Today’s review contains huge SPOILERS! Read at your own risk.

Positive: David Oyelowo, Charlize Theron, Joel Edgerton, Amanda Seyfried, Thandie Newton & Sharlto Copley all did an ok job on their performances. By the way, this is Paris Jackson’s (Michael Jackson’s daughter) film debut.

Fun Fact: Charlize Theron & Amanda Seyfried were also in Seth McFarlane’s western comedy, A Million Ways To Die In The West.

I only laughed four or five times. That’s right y’all, only four or five jokes managed to make me laugh. The rest of the humor fell flat on its face.

Cinematography looked surprisingly normal without any Shaky Cam nor Dutch Angles present.

If you’re a fan of The Cure, there’s an instrumental cover of “Just Like Heaven,” which is played during The End Credits Sequence.

Alan Ruck (Cameron Frye from Ferris Buller’s Day Off) makes a cameo appearance. I would assume that The Cast & Crew might be under the influence of Member Berries. You know those things from South Park that make you remember nostalgic memories.

Negative: By the time I saw Gringo, one person was snoring. I was surprised that he preferred to snooze than watch. He did the right thing. Congratulations Amazon Studios for making a viewer sleepy! Your grand prize is to Triple Down this con for making an audience member snore! If the entire screening is packed with a bunch of people falling asleep, I will multiply then all as an instant failure!

One character has a code name under “The Black Panther.” Employees at Marvel, you better get yourself a lawyer. Oh For Big Pete’s Sake! He’s from Wakanda, not Mexico! Amazon Studios, is Carlos Mencia in charge as The CEO? If so, this’ll be an interesting episode of Judge Judy, featuring Marvel Studios suing Carlos for plagiarizing Black Panther’s name without permission.

The Story is muddled, because each character has their own agenda. You can get easily bored from start to finish. It lacked substance due to every character without an interesting backstory or personality. It feels like I’m forced to listen to a pointless campfire story.

Marketing Team behind the film, promised us that this was gonna be a Pineapple Express type of film. When I purchased my ticket, it turns out Amazon Studios lied to me that this isn’t the movie I was looking for. This is Bridge To Terabithia level of misleading! Gonna have to Double Down this flaw for tricking me into thinking that this was gonna be an all out action crime comedy! UGH, I REALLY REALLY HATE THE BAIT-AND-SWITCH TACTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news to you guys, I was so easily bored, I’ve decided to check on my phone to see how long this movie is gonna keep me hostage against my will, until The End Credits commence.

Product Placement (Pee Pee for short) featuring the following brands including, Apple, IPhone, Acer, Skype, Chevrolet, Dos Equis & many others.

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

In my opinion, Gringo is an unexpected critical flop, due to advertising on misleading people into seeing thinking this is an action crime comedy movie and making one person snoozing! Its as if Amazon promised me a spotless package, a few days later, the item is covered in filth! Do not waste your hard earned cash on Gringo, it belongs as a direct-to-video movie on the same page Disney’s cheaply made sequels on the home video format! If I were you, go out and see Black Panther or Annihilation. Both of them are worth the price of admission! Perhaps Pineapple Express can make you laugh so hard you’ll probably no longer resist a straight face.

Gringo has officially made it to my list of “Worst Films Of 2018.” This is just the beginning, wait until we get more pieces of crud coming in theaters worldwide. We must remain vigilant! Employees working at Amazon Studios, definitely need a time out to stand in the corner to think about what they did to trick me into seeing this movie!

Dear Snoop Dogg or Weedies from across the world, if you’re reading this, do not waste your precious time on this underwhelming picture. Trust me, you’re gonna be incredibly bummed out after watching the entire thing from beginning, middle & end!

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