Flashback Review: Jingle All The Way

It’s time for another Christmas related review produced by Chris Columbus, & starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, as a father who’s desperate to find his son an action figure for Christmas, he’s not the only person looking for the toy. What I’ve told you is The Basic Premise from “Jingle All The Way.”

Jingle All The Way, was released in 1996. (same year Independence Day came out) At the time of it’s release, it received negative reviews from critics. Despite being critically panned, it was also a commercial success at the box office. Doug Walker/Nostalgia Critic did a review on the movie and he hated it.

This review doesn’t have any SPOILERS. Just in case if you’ve never ever ever seen the entire film, feel free to check out my non-spoiler article. I’ll do my best not to steal Nostalgia Critic’s notes.

Nice & Naughty Elements

Nice: Arnold Schwarzenegger, & Sinbad, both did a great job for their funny as heck performances.

Other Cast Members such as the late Phil Hartman, James Belushi, Martin Mull & Gilbert Gottfried all did an ok job on their respective performances.

Chris Columbus (Home Alone, Mrs. Doubtfire, the first two Harry Potter installments) produced the film.

Harvey Korman, (The Great Gazoo from The Flintstones/Hedley LaMarr from Blazing Saddles) makes a cameo appearance.

Turbo Man is based on “Power Rangers” and superhero cartoons  such as “X-Men: The Animated Series” & “Spider-Man: The Animated Series” that used to air on Fox Kids. Those were the good ol’ days 90’s Kids & 90’s Babies.

A bunch of funny moments made me laugh from beginning to end.

Cinematography wasn’t that bad from start to finish.

Sinbad’s character, Myron, has an interesting backstory on why he’s a down-on-his-luck mailman and his motivation on why he wants a Turbo Man action figure.

One character said “Jingle Bells, Batman smells.” A year later, Arnold went on to star as Mr. Freeze, in the worst Batman movie of all time called, “Batman And Robin.” Until a film adaptation of “Teen Titans Go” takes the top spot as the worst film related to Batman’s legacy.

Speaking of Batman, Turbo Man has a voice modulator. Twenty years later, Ben Affleck’s Batman, has a voice modulator.

One of the main characters call Martin Mull’s character, Mr. Ponytail Man. I think it’s a possible reference to Cameron Crowe’s film, “Singles.”

Memorable dialogue from Arnold & Sinbad. My favorite line in this movie is, “This is a sick world we live in, sick!” You can’t forget the classic line, “Put that cookie down, now!”

During a Macy’s Thanksgiving like parade, costume characters from random franchises appear. Let’s just say it’s a cautionary not to forget.

A Climatic Battle happens. It’s played for laughs.

There’s a Post-Credits Scene, which is played for laughs. It has nothing to do with setting up a cinematic universe.

Naughty: As a cliché in nearly every family movie, the protagonist is often portrayed as a workaholic. You know, like the main character from “Ghost Dad,” “Hook,” The Santa Clause,” “The Haunted Mansion,” “The Shaggy Dog,” “Evan Almighty” & Universal Pictures had the guts to make Bryce Dallas Howard’s character Claire, from “Jurassic World,” as a workaholic! I mean come on! Did Hollywood somehow use this trope belonging to “The Department Of Redundancy?!”

Rita Wilson, (Tom Hanks’ real life spouse) & Jamie Lloyd’s performances, were one dimensional like stale bread. One’s wooden and the other’s whiny. No wonder Anakin grew up to act like a whiny prom queen!

A scene with Howard imaging Jamie’s future, sadly predicts Jake Lloyd’s career, due to his involvement in “The Phantom Menace” that made him want to leave Show Biz permanently. I feel bad for him getting bullied by kids.

Product Placement featuring certain brands including, GMC. I’ll give this con a pass because I couldn’t find any products to shove down my face.

The Final Verdict: B, FOR NOT TOTALLY BOGUS!

In my opinion, I liked Jingle All The Way. When I was kid, I really enjoyed the film and I still do. It’s actually one of my guilty pleasures. If you have nothing else to do during Christmas month, I recommend this picture for the whole family. I’m not gonna lie, there’s a Direct-To-Video sequel starring Larry The Cable Guy.

Seriously critics, (that means you Doug Walker) Jingle All The Way isn’t THAT turrible (as Cleveland from Family Guy pronounces it that way) right next to “Home Alone 3,” “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” and “The Star Wars Holiday Special.”

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