Flashback Review: Zenon: Girl Of The 21st Century

In the 1990’s, Disney Channel officially began to air their very first originally made for tv films, starting with “Under Wraps.” Over the years, more originally made Disney Channel films aired including “Halloweentown” (has nothing to do with The Nightmare Before Christmas) starring the late Debbie Reynolds, “The Even Stevens Movie” with Shia LeBeouf, back when he was working on the Disney Channel show “Even Stevens” before he started in Transformers,”and perhaps the most overrated Disney Channel in my opinion is “High School Musical” & its sequels.

I have decided to review a TV Movie to try something completely different besides reviewing films that were released in movie theaters. Like this one called “Zenon: Girl Of The 21st Century.”

Zenon Girl Of The 21st Century aired in 1999. The year Stanley Kubrick passed away along with his last film “Eyes Wide Shut” which came out four months later. Zenon spawned two sequels in 2001 & 2004 dubbed as “The Zenon Trilogy.”

I was 6 years old when I first watched it on Disney Channel. Now that I’m older, I don’t remember much of it, just some bits and pieces. I rewatched it, and I’m surprised that this was the first film to take place in the year 2049. The reason why I wanted to review this, is because the upcoming film called Blade Runner 2049, takes place in the exact year.

This review contains huge SPOILERS, read at your own risk if you haven’t seen this Disney Channel film? If you’re interested in seeing Zenon, I suggest you to watch it first before you read my article. Is Zenon: Girl Of The 21st Century a hit or a miss? Let’s find out shall we?

Positive & Negative Qualities

Positive: A catchy song called “Super Nova Girl” made me bop my head.

The film predicted IPad tablets similar to 2001: A Space Odyssey predicting IPads.

Trolling is still a thing in the future when Zenon replaced the disc with her own by fooling the bad guy with a video of her blowing a raspberry.

Cinematography never had any issues.

The Ending was the only good part with the song “Super Nova”which is actually performed by an *NSYNC/Backstreet Boys type of boy band.

Negative: The Special Effects look incredibly dated such as a terrible blue screen effect with Zenon going into a spacewalk. The Exterior of The Space Station looks cheesy. This makes Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey or Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar look more realistic than this. The Effects belong in James “Murr” Murray’s bad movie titled, “Damned” from Impractical Jokers. If you want to watch Damned, it’s on YouTube for free.

Hate to break it to ya. Zenon was very annoying. I understand she’s going though a fish out of water scenario, but why didn’t the people of The Space Station teach her about Earth’s culture, environment, nature, etc? It broke my Suspension Of Disbelief. Why the heck is her classroom talking about history and other subjects about Earth?! I have to Double Down this flaw. Zenon is such a buffoon.

In this film, Chelsea Clinton is currently The President Of The United States. I certainly hope this doesn’t happen. It’ll possibly be like Professor Umbridge taking over Hogwarts because she’s also the equivalent of Hillary Clinton because she’s extremely unsympathetic. I guess there’s a reason why a space station was constructed in the first place.

One Major Plot Hole was the security cameras that were never installed on the space station. Zenon would’ve never been sent to Earth if they had some. I thought this was the future. It also broke my suspension of disbelief. To quote Dark Helmet from Spaceballs, “Even In The Future Nothing Works!” Is everybody living in a space station a flipping moron?

The future setting on Earth STINKS like Jabba The Hutt’s armpits! It doesn’t look like an actual future at all! I would’ve envisioned something in a dystopian environment like “Akira,” “Blade Runner,” its sequel “Blade Runner 2049,” “The Fifth Element” or “Ghost In The Shell!”

Earth Scenes were incredibly boring. Just nothing interesting but rather plain dull. Society on the planet is a normal lookin’ present day. Again, I expected it to look like Los Angeles in Blade Runner. Heck! a dying Earth similar to Interstellar.

The 2nd Act is very forgettable yet boring with a capital B.

Is it me, or does the villain’s henchmen’s accent sounded like he’s been watching too many Judy Garland movies? I have nothing against The LGBT Community. To quote Seinfeld, “Not there’s anything wrong with that.”

Zenon’s catchphrase is “Cetus Lupeedus.” What the heck does that mean? Amy Wong’s random phrases from “Futurama” made more sense.

I didn’t care about Zenon & Gregory’s chemistry. Felt flat like a dollar store version of Dr. Pepper. Ever heard of Dr. Thunder.

The Final Verdict: D-

Now that I’ve rewatched this Disney Channel film, I wished I’ve never seen this as a kid, if I had a time machine, I woulda told my younger self not watch anything related to a TV movie on Disney Channel.

If you want to watch a better Sci-Fi film, go watch Blade Runner, Akira, The Fifth Element, Minority Report, or Ghost In The Shell. (1995 film) I hope our future doesn’t end up being plain dull. I want our future to resemble Futurama and have cool looking spaceships to travel to exotic planets. Don’t forget a lobster named Dr. Zoidberg!

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