Spider-Man 3

You’re probably wondering why I didn’t call this a Flashback Review like the other two Spider-Man reviews. 2006 was the year I turned 13 on July 23rd, because I’m no longer going into child friendly territory, this time in my movie going experience, it’s got into a mature and darker territory. In the year 2002, the very first Spider-Man film came out, it was a critical and commercial success. Two years later, a follow up was released and it also went on to achieve the same success. It won an Academy Award for “Best Visual Effects.” The critical acclaim surrounding the second entry, once again encouraged Sony Pictures to develop another sequel. It took three years to get the third movie done.

“Spider-Man 3” became one of the most expensive movies with a budget consisting of $258 million, alongside “Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End,” but with a bigger budget of $300 million which also came out in the same month and year. But at the same time the film “Shrek The Third “was out as well in May 2007 & these three films were known as the Big 3 of May 2007, because the aforementioned threequels were a big deal back then. At the time of its release, Spider-Man 3 received mixed reviews from critics and comic book fans alike. It was a box office success. Spider-Man 3 was the last film to star Tobey Maguire until a reboot came out in 2012 starring Andrew Garfield as the titular character. I’m reviewing this to get everybody ready for Spider-Man: Homecoming. The Premise is about a black substance which transforms Spider-Man’s suit as much powerful crime fighter, but he faces personal demons from within as well as a criminal connected to his past.

This review contains huge SPOILERS. Read at your own risk!

Amazing & Unamazing Elements

Amazing: The Main Cast did a great job for their performances. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, Thomas Haden Church was the only good villain who was interesting than Venom.

Supporting Cast did a good job for their performances. Like the other two films, J.K. Simmons was born to play the role of J. Jonah Jameson.

The Primary Theme for the third entry is Revenge. The other two films each had a primary theme ranging from Rite Of Passage to Duality.

The Action Sequences were decent to see Spider-Man’s black suit in battle.

Peter’s landlord, Mr. Ditkovich, is named after Spider-Man co-creator, Steve Ditko.

Black Suit Spider-Man’s fight with Sandman, was savage. This makes Bruce Banner/Hulk look like The Jolly Green Giant!

Sam Raimi’s right-hand man, Bruce Campbell, once again makes a cameo appearance. Stan Lee makes a brief one too.

After Peter acquires the black suit, there’s a shot-for-shot remake of Peter waking up with the black suit which is an homage to an episode from the animated 90s cartoon. The episode is called “The Alien Costume.” Bonus Points for those who grew up watching the cartoon, we’ve finally got to witness this moment on the silver screen!

The Animated 60s Theme Song is played by an orchestra.

A Climatic Battle between Spider-Man, Harry Osborn, Sandman, & Venom was of the only good parts.

Now that Tobey Maguire won’t be part of the MCU. I got teary eyed at the end.

Stan Lee makes a cameo appearance again.

Jet’s “Falling Star” plays during the end credits sequence. Their song “Hold On” was used in Spider-Man 2.

Unamazed: Miscasting Topher Grace for the role of Eddie Brock/Venom. What’s worse is he lacks the intimidation factor when the symbiote bonds with him.

Venom’s appearance is nothing like his comic book counterpart. In the film, he’s scrawny, lacks the bodybuilder physique, he wasn’t scary like he was depicted on the 90s cartoon. Unlike the comics and cartoon, Venom is just a generic monster screeching lacking a three-dimensional personality. In the words of Marlon Brando in “The Godfather.” “Look how they massacred my boy!”

If you’re expecting to witness Spider-Man becoming all power hungry with the black suit, you’re gonna be appalled. A ridiculous montage of Peter acting like John Travolta strutting in the streets and at one-point dances.

It took an hour and five minutes for the movie to show the symbiote bonding with Peter’s red, white, and blue suit. Care to explain the poster showing the black suit?

The movie clocks in for about an hour and 44 minutes until we finally get to see the symbiote bonding with Eddie Brock.

While cooking dinner, a brief dance scene with Harry & Mary Jane felt out of place. It was like a commercial on Food Network. UGH! I hate dance scenes coming out of nowhere.

Harry gets revenge on Peter by forcing MJ to break up with him. That’s not how a villain seeks vengeance. Did The Joker make Rachel break up with Bruce Wayne? That’s a big NO NO! MJ couldn’t be this stupid to break up with Peter.

A Plot Hole reveals that The Green Goblin’s butler never told Harry the truth about his death until The Third Act commences. Why didn’t he tell him before Harry followed in his father’s footsteps?

The Marketing for the film was gonna be the darkest Spider-Man movie. When the picture came out, it was all a lie, to me, I felt betrayed. Like most movie trailers, it’s the bait-and-switch a roo.

The worst offender of them all, is Peter dancing in a jazz club. For a dance scene, it has to connect properly like Star-Lord’s Walkman, if you’ve seen” Guardians Of The Galaxy,” you’ll understand why he dances with his music on. The dance scene with Peter was horrendously bad and it was a miscalculation.

M.J. is kidnapped yet again during The Climatic Battle.

Final Verdict: C, FOR CLUSTER FUDGE!

Spider-Man 3 is the weakest of the Sam Raimi’s trilogy. If it weren’t for the negative elements, I would’ve appreciated the way they took most of the elements from the 90s cartoon. If you want to see a better storyline involving Venom, I strongly recommend the cartoon because it told a better story than this piece of cow dung.

P.S. The Cast & Crew of the Sam Raimi films, thank you for the memories, I’m looking forward to watch Tom Holland’s portrayal as Spider-Man. Mr. Maguire you will always be The Wall Crawler. One more thing, Tom Hardy has confirmed he will portray Eddie Brock/Venom, let’s hope he takes this seriously like he did with Bane in “The Dark Knight Rises.” Venom is my favorite Marvel villain of all time! Please Tom, don’t screw it up!

2 thoughts on “Spider-Man 3

  1. Retro and childhood to me ends with September 11, 2001 (Not a joke) but retro gaming however that ends with the Saturn.


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