Cinderella III: A Twist in Time

What do you get when you have a so-called “animated classic” that did not aged well gets a poorly made direct-to-DVD sequel? Make another one resulting in one of the worst trilogies in movie history. You get “Cinderella III: A Twist in Time.”

The third and final installment of “The Cinderella Trilogy” was released in 2007 (same year Enchanted came out) on DVD. Unlike the second movie, the third one earned positive reviews and sold nearly $100 million in various stores. I know I’m watching Horror movies during Halloween Month, but I wanna get Cinderella III: A Twist in Time” off my chest.

I don’t give a damn if SPOILERS are present. This threequel doesn’t deserve to exist.

Pretty & Ugly Qualities

Pretty: Jennifer Hale did an ok job for her performance as Cinderella.

Christopher Daniel “CD” Barnes (1990s Spider-Man) voices The Prince. He did a good job for his voiceover performance. It’s not CD’s fault he had to partake in this piece of crud. He needed the money to pay the bills. Mr. Barnes is my second favorite Spidey. I consider Tobey Maguire as the definitive Wall Crawler.

Animation’s alright.

Prince has more dialogue and characterization than Princess Aurora in “Sleeping Beauty.”

Random Thoughts

Fellow movie, BloggedByEric mentioned he wrote a college essay on Cinderella. I don’t mean to be a dick, but If I were his professor I would’ve given him a low grade. Why? Because it’s a fuggin’ embarrassing. Just giving an assessment. I’m surprised he didn’t get bullied.
If I had to pick a topic for a college essay, I would write on why comic books reflect political and social issues including X-Men and my favorite graphic novel, “Watchmen.”
I know I trashed Walt Disney’s original animated Cinderella, but I didn’t grow up watching Disney Princess movies. My cousins are mostly females. My parents didn’t raise me to be a wussy. I grew up on Marvel, Toonami, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Star Wars, Harry Potter & James Bond. I’m glad I didn’t grew up watching Disney Princesses.

Ugly: Musical Numbers are forgettable yet manipulative. Trying too hard to care for Cinderella. She’s a plain Jane who’s just nice. That’s all she does. Cinderella ain’t a memorable three-dimensional female protagonist like Ellen Ripley, Mulan and The Bride from “Kill Bill.” Cinderella’s not designed to be a strong female character. She’s incredibly dull. Disney also tried too hard to make her an action hero.

Jokes weren’t funny. Not one little bit. They pale in comparison to one of my all-time favorite comedies, “Superbad.” Don’t give me that BS excuse. “But, Nick Cinderella III is a family oriented movie not a raunchy R-rated comedy!” Sorry, Cinderella III’s jokes belong in the sewage.

One of the mice impersonates Tarzan’s yell. BOO! There can only be one. Tony Goldwyn’s the definitive Tarzan.

Remember that time Fairy Godmother gave Cinderella a ballroom outfit via magic? All that spark and detail transformed her into an elegant dress. The threequel lacks detail.

For a short animated movie spanning an hour and twenty-one minutes, I was miserably bored.

Honestly, I still don’t give a crud about Cinderella and Prince. They’ve been married for a year. They’re not compatible.

The Stepsisters act like overgrown kids. They throw food at each other.

Somehow, Lady Tremaine can perform magic using a wand saying, “Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo. That’s the only phrase to cast spells.

Touching someone’s hands activates true love. I know it’s a spell, but this is bullshit. Prince knows nothing about Cinderella.

A threequel revolves around going back in time. EGADS! That’s the Third Act from “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.” The worst installment of the book and movie! Sorry, the Time Turner ruined it for me. Harry could’ve used it to prevent Voldemort from killing his parents. Heck, could’ve used thousands of ways to permanently defeat Voldemort.

At the 22:58 mark, Cinderella ignores the fact Prince’s eyes turn green as he’s under Lady Tremaine’s spell. Ugh! Is she blind like Ray Charles? I’ve seen Daredevil use his other senses to detect danger.

At the 58:34 mark, the bells are obviously CGI.

The Climax involves Cinderella trying to stop one of the ugly stepsisters from marrying Prince. Gee, I’ve seen that before. *cough* better ones listed #cough*

Big Trouble in Little China
Beetlejuice and its sequel
Shrek
Saving Silverman
Rugrats in Paris
Wedding Crashers
The Princess and the Frog

Lady Tremaine can perform magic like altering the timeline using a wand without professional training. None of that shit ever happened in Hogwarts. Imagine if Jean Grey never controlled her powers without Professor X’s guidance? Results? Pure chaos.

Oh jeez, the mice can conjure magic saying like Lady Tremaine.

Cinderella also has the ability to use the wand to summon Fairy Godmother back. This movie and world building lacks logic.

Lady Tremaine’s punishment at the end is working as a maid doing community service. Should’ve been a life sentence spanning up to 100. Why? Because she nearly murdered Cinderella and attempted to take over an entire kingdom. That’s like giving Calvin Candie from “Django Unchained” doing community service as punishment for putting Django’s wife in a hot box for days. Gonna have to subtract a truckload of points for insulting my intelligence along with the first two movies. You gotta be insanely idiotic to like those kind of movies.

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time is a blatant cash grab to a crappy movie from 1950. Do not waste your money or spare time on The Cinderella Trilogy. It’s dogshit. Do me a favor and watch these better trilogies listed below. You’ll thank me later.