Greetings fellow movie goers from around the globe. Let’s rewind the clock back to the mid-late ’90s. At an early age, I watched Danny DeVito’s best work, “Matilda” all the time. I used to own a VHS copy watching it every day. Now that I’m older, I cherish it. For sentimental reasons, Matilda’s one of my Top 20 Films of all Time. After Mara Wilson completed Matilda, she worked on her next movie, “A Simple Wish.” The total opposite of a timeless classic.
Released in 1997, (same year Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery came out) A Simple Wish was panned by critics and Universal Pictures failed to earn back its $28 million budget. I confess, I have not seen A Simple Wish at an early age. First time I’ve heard about it, Doug Walker/Nostalgia Critic made a video review. Mara Wilson herself makes a cameo towards the end. Check out Doug’s review.
It doesn’t matter if SPOILERS are listed. A Simple Wish doesn’t deserve to exist. It belongs in Malebolgia’s realm. For those who don’t know who Malebolgia is, he’s a demonic warlord from “Spawn.”
Whimsical & Cursed Aspects
Whimsical: Mara Wilson & Kathleen Turner both did a good job for their respective performances.
Cursed: Martin Short didn’t do a solid job for his performance. I have nothing against Mr. Short, he’s a talented comedian. His role as Murray (or as Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker pronounces it as Muh-Ray) is annoying as fudge.
- Random Fact 1: Ms. Wilson stated she didn’t enjoy working on the movie. She lost her mother from cancer after completing Matilda. I pity her. It’s not Mara’s fault. Blame the lame-os who green-lit this piece of crud. Mara’s most recent movie is “Thomas and the Magic Railroad.” Shame, she didn’t get her acting career back on track. She makes a living on audiobooks.
- Random Fact 2: The Bubble Factory’s the exact same production company, also produced another god-awful movie, “The Pest” starring John Leguizamo.
I didn’t laugh at every single joke. Not one little bit.
Visual Effects are extremely fake. For instance, Murray’s body becomes flat. It pales in comparison to Jim Carrey’s “The Mask.”
Murray’s spellcasting is extremely dangerous. He’s not fit for the job. He’s ten times stupider than Cosmo off of “The Fairly OddParents.” The fairy organization should’ve hired somebody professional outside their craft like Botan from “YuYu Hakusho.” The Grim Reaper of the aforementioned anime.
I didn’t care about Murray’s chemistry with Annabel.
I swear to God I’m totally not making this up. Murray retrieves his wand back from a jerkstore named, Duane. Murray attempts to turn him into a rabbit. It didn’t work. What did Duane transform into? A Godzilla-sized rabbi. Once Murray & Annabel teleport back to New York City, they never brought up what the fudge just happened. As if the writers came up with the idea after inhaling Cheech & Chong’s bong. This idiotic scene loses a Truckload of Points for killing my brain cells.
A climatic battle involves a ballerina dance scene. UGH! I hate dance scenes outta nowhere! Spider-Man 3’s dance scene’s more tolerable than that!
Claudia gets defeated when a spell deflects back at her. Causing her to get trapped in a mirror. A poor man’s substitute of the Phantom Zone from Christopher Reeve’s “Superman.”
Unlike Matilda, A Simple Wish didn’t make me happy cry. Although I grew up in a masculine environment, I’m a softie for the former. The latter not so much.
The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!
Again, A Simple Wish doesn’t deserve to exist. It belongs in Malebolgia’s realm. Wasted an hour and a half of my life. Do not, I repeat, do not waste a family night with your kids. If you wanna introduce your kids to something really good, I highly recommend some of my childhood favorites like “Space Jam,” “George of the Jungle” and last but not least, Matilda.
Dear, Mara Wilson, if you’re reading this article, I’m deeply sorry you lost your mother. I’m happy you didn’t lose your mind like most child actors/actresses. It’s a good thing you moved on to a career that best suits you. Living a healthy life is important. I don’t wanna sound like a weirdo, but it would be a dream come true to see you attend at Fan Expo Dallas. Maybe someday in the future if you got nothing on your plate. If this became a reality, I’ll get an autograph with your signature and take a photo. Matilda is one of my all-time favorite movies.
Sincerely, Nick the Movie Critic
Nickthemoviecritic.com 