In 1952, English novelist, Daphne du Maurier published a book a of short stories titled, “The Apple Stories.” One of them known as “The Birds,” is about a farmer and his family must endure a swarm of deadly birds attack people. 12 Years Later, Alfred Hitchcock loosely adapted it into a full-length film with Tippi Hendren in the lead role. Prior to its release, Hitchcock appeared in a trailer obviously talking about birds.
Released in 1963, (same year the X-Men & Magneto made their comic book debut) it received mixed reviews from critics. Overtime, The Birds earned good reception as one of Alfred Hitchcock’s best (if not the best) films. In 2016, The Birds was selected by the National Film Registry for preservation in the Liberty of Congress.
Halloween Month is almost over. I wanna share my thoughts on Hitchcock’s film if it still holds up. I’m gonna come clean, I never read The Apple Stories. I’ve only seen The Birds for the first time.
Today’s review contains SPOILERS. If you haven’t seen it, read at your own risk.
Float & Sink Aspects
Float: Tippi Hendren (in her film debut) did a solid job for her performance.
Alfred Hitchcock himself makes a cameo appearance walking his dogs out of a pet shop.
Cinematography was shot carefully without any technical problems.
Special Effects at the time were impressive. A rear projection superimposed a flock of birds. Way before a Blue Screen existed.
Sink: I can’t believe I’m saying this, Alfred Hitchcock did a poor job directing. The Master of Suspense my behind! Hitchcock’s title should be removed in favor of Christopher Nolan. He tells better stories than him!
Pacing’s really slow. I had go wait 52 minutes for The Birds to wreak havoc. You’ll be fooled by the poster. There’s little to no birds. Almost an entire hour wasting nothing but exposition. And I thought Ang Lee’s “Hulk” was boring. Hitchcock had the Ang Lee Syndrome before the same director was around. Right after the first bird attack at a birthday party, there’s still more exposition of characters I don’t give a crud talking about their dull backstories. Ugh! I’d rather rewatch extended editions of “The Lord of the Rings Trilogy!” All three films tell a better cohesive narrative!
Every single character’s completely forgettable. I don’t remember their names. That’s bad, folks.
The High Concept of the story is ludicrous. I didn’t get scared. Not one little bit. I don’t think birds are intimidating. Here’s a list of things scarier than birds.
- Giant Spiders (like Shelob from The Lord of the Rings Trilogy)
- Scorpions
- Clowns (Pennywise from Stephen King’s It)
- Kamala Harris’ psychotic laugh
- Having sex with national embarrassment, Dylan Mulvaney
- Botox injections
- Snakes
- Heights
- Enclosed spaces (Claustrophobia)
- Sam Smith’s performance performance at the 2023 Grammys
- Jojo Siwa’s Karma music video
- Lizzo encouraging people to live an unhealthy lifestyle
- Being cellmates with either Diddy or R. Kelly
There’s no logical explanation why The Birds are attacking people. They’re not the aliens from “Independence Day” who want to their wipe out humanity. They’re not predatory like the shark from “Jaws”. I can’t believe I’m doing this over a Hitchcock film. I’m Tripling Down this con for insulting my intelligence. Wait a minute? I just realized The Birds predates another god awful movie about birds, “Birdemic: Shock and Terror.” OH MY GOODNESS!
The Final Verdict: D-
I’m probably going to hell for this, I wouldn’t consider The Birds as a masterpiece. I’m baffled why a lot of people call it one of Alfred Hitchcock’s best films. Look, I have to give old movies tough love from a modern perspective. Whether or not they aged like fine wine. Skip this dud in favor a way better horror film. Watch Rob Zombie’s “House of 1000 Corpses.”
Nickthemoviecritic.com 