Music

In 2015, Sia attended the 72nd Venice International Film Festival. Sia confirmed she’s making her directorial debut with Maddie Ziegler carrying the film titled, “Sister.” At first, it was considered a straight up drama, Sia retitled renamed her project “Music” allowing her to brainstorm musical sequences. Kate Hudson signed to co-lead. Originally slated for a 2019 release in October, Sia delayed it due to competition with “Joker.” One Year Later, Sia intends to release in IMAX after taking cues from Christopher Nolan’s “Tenet.” However, COVID-19 forced her to delay the film again. She finally got her project opened to the public.

Released in 2021, (same year Free Guy came out) it was critically panned by critics and movie goers. Music made only half a million becoming a box office disaster. Not enough to cover its 16 million budget. YIKES! The film won three Razzie Awards for “Worst Director,” “Worst Actress” and “Worst Supporting Actress.” I’m not making this up, Music was nominated at the Golden Globes for “Best Musical or Comedy.”

The highly anticipated “Joker: Folie a Deux” comes out in October 4, 2024, I wanna share my thoughts on Music. I’ll be reviewing a few musical films before I see Joaquin Phoenix & Lady Gaga sing and dance together as Joker & Harley Quinn.

It doesn’t matter if SPOILERS are listed. This movie shouldn’t exist.

On-key & Off-key Elements

On-key: Kate Hudson & Leslie Odom Jr. both did a good job for their respective performances. Kate hasn’t been in anything good since “Almost Famous.” What a crushing blow. Her career stinks like her armpits. That’s right, she doesn’t use deodorant like Matthew McConaughey.

Other Cast Members such as Ben Schwartz & Hector Elizondo both did a solid job for their respective performances.

Juliette Lewis & Kathy Najimy make brief appearances.

Off-key: Maddie Ziegler’s portrayal as the titular character was horrendously bad. Her insufferable performance resembles a parody of the fake trailer from “Tropic Thunder” known as “Simple Jack.” Unlike Ben Stiller’s satirical take on Oscar Bait films, this one however is not funny.

Sia didn’t do so well making her first movie. As if Roger from “American Dad” wrote and directed this nonsense. Like that one episode, “Tearjerker” with him directing “Oscar Gold.” A fake Oscar Bait movie so ludicrous it tries so hard mixing serious issues including the Holocaust, race, mental disability, alcoholism and a dead puppy. Don’t believe me? Watch the episode. Gonna have to subtract a tremendous number of points.

Speaking of Oscar Bait, this movie’s trying too hard with real-life issues like mental illness, addiction, murder and HIV. Sia’s depiction on these subjects are half-assed yet manipulative.

Cinematography’s sometimes shaky.

Musical Numbers reside in Music’s head. I expected this movie to be a musical with singing and dancing without heavily relying on her head. Sia spent $12 million on meaningless dance numbers resembling any music video by “The Wiggles.” I can picture Beavis & Butthead feeling repulsed.

Who the heck names their kids Zu (pronounced as zoo) & Music? That’s not their stage names, it’s their given names. Ugh! This is dumber than Kanye West & Kim Kardashian naming their first kid, North after a direction on a compass.

Zu’s full name is Kazu. Rhymes like gazoo. Really? The Great Gazoo from The Flintstones is rolling his eyes calling Sia a “dumb dumb.”

I didn’t care about Music’s chemistry with Zu & Ebo.

A big twist involving Ebo who has HIV felt forced. Didn’t fit the story. Felt contrived.

Opening Scene begins with Music performing a dance number. A minute-and-a-half in, her dancing looks terrible.

I know Music’s way on top of the spectrum, but she’s incredibly annoying as fudge. More annoying than John Travolta’s Razzie winning performance in “The Fanatic.” To quote Zoidberg’s line from “Futurama.” “Your music’s bad and you should feel bad!”

Another forced element is the death of a young man named, Felix. He has no ties to the main plot. Felix’s father accidentally kills him. As if Sia has no idea what movie she’s making. To add insult to injury, another dance number with Music & Felix dancing together while Zu sings. Music & Felix never shared any scenes together. Doesn’t make any golly gosh darn sense!

When Zu goes into relapse getting drunk, a random dance number pops up. The more dance numbers, the more cringeworthy it gets.

I’m appalled the Golden Globes selected Music as a nominee for Best Musical or Comedy. They should’ve picked James Gunn’s “The Suicide Squad.”

The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!

Music’s the cinematic equivalent of puking and sharting simultaneously. Space Jam: Legacy is no longer the worst film of 2024. Sia’s tasteless film debut takes the top spot. UGH! I’d rather watch a four-hour cut of “Spice World!” At least it told a slightly better story! Do not waste your spare time with Music. Sia should stick to her singing career. If you wanna watch a proper musical, watch “Idlewild” with OutKast. A word of caution for aspiring filmmakers. If you’re gonna make a serious drama, don’t add numerous real-life problems all in one.