Napoleon

After “The Last Duel” flopped at the box office, Ridley Scott announced he’s working on a historical epic based on Napoleon Bonaparte’s life and military career collaborating with Joaquin Phoenix for the first time since “Gladiator.” Ridley and his crew filmed additional footage but was left in the cutting room floor due to time constraints regarding the running time. The Final Cut’s total running time, two hours and thirty-seven minutes. “Napoleon” premiered at the Salle Pleyel in Paris on November 14, 2024. A week later, it was released in theaters during Thanksgiving week.

Joaquin Phoenix will reprise his role as Joker in a sequel to his Oscar winning performance. Lady Gaga will portray Harley Quinn. It’ll be released on October 4, 2024.

This review contains SPOILERS. If you’re fascinated with Napoleon’s life story, you’re gonna be appalled.

Victory & Defeat Aspects

Victory: Joaquin Phoenix did a solid job for his performance as the titular general. He also co-produced the film.

Vanessa Kirby did a good job for her performance as Josephine.

Action Sequences are cool as heck yet brutal at the same time.

Cinematography captures in-depth imagery of epic battles.

Special Effects recreate epic battles Napoleon fought with his army.

Costume Designs reflect the time period.

Defeat: Ridley Scott didn’t do his homework on Napoleon. It’s historically inaccurate. Like Mojo Jojo’s bedtime story. It’s that one episode with him babysitting “The Powerpuff Girls.” Episode’s called, “Child Fearing.” The same director who despises Marvel, didn’t do his homework yet bashes critics. As if he ate Joe Biden’s brain cells becoming a bumbling idiot. Could be worse, if Ridley casted Dylan Mulvaney A.K.A. Mrs. Garrison as Napoleon.

David Scarpa (The Day the Earth Stood Still 2008, All the Money in the World) didn’t fact check for historical accuracy.

I know Josephine plays a huge part in Napoleon’s life, but I didn’t care about their chemistry. Feels awkward like two kids in a school play.

I have nothing against Vanessa Kirby, but she’s younger than Joaquin. Josephine’s supposed to be slightly older than Napoleon.

Here’s a list on historical inaccuracies and material missing from the titular general’s life. And I thought Nyad’s inaccurate. As if Mojo Jojo wrote script. Again, it reminds me of The Powerpuff Girls episode, Child Fearing. For a kid’s show, Blossom, Bubbles & Buttercup are smarter than the guy who directed “Blade Runner.” How embarrassing.

1. Napoleon wasn’t present at Marie Antoinette’s public execution. He participated in the Siege of Toulon.
2. Napoleon never shot the Pyramids of Giza.
3. A scene never depicts Napoleon opening the Bank of France.
4. Napoleon never slapped Josephine during their divorce. He was nice to her.
5. Napoleon and Arthur Wellesley meet in person. They didn’t.
6. Napoelon’s horse was never shot by a cannon.
7. The Battle of Austerlitz takes place in a frozen lake. In real life, there were small ponds.
8. Napoleon was wounded during the Siege of Toulon. In the film, he doesn’t have a scratch on him.
9. Josephine was afraid of getting a divorce.
10. Napoleon’s good at riding a horse. In real life, he was terrible riding one.
11. Napoleon didn’t conquer London & Russia.

The Final Verdict: C, FOR CLOGGED TOILET!

Napoleon’s theatrical cut is a huge disappointment and inaccurate. An epic historical drama lied to me about Napoleon’s life and career. It’s” Balto” all over again. If Ridley Scott’s director’s cut of missing material fixes a few things, I’ll probably bump the grade to B-. The equivalent of an average rank, 7/10. Wait for it to steam on Apple TV Plus. If you wanna see a legit epic historical drama, watch Christopher Nolan’s “Oppenheimer.”

Ridley’s career is NOT doing so well. First, “House of Gucci, now this epic flop? I’m setting my expectations for “Gladiator 2” super low. It’s gonna be difficult to top a Best Picture winner.