“House in Haunted Hill” was officially released in 1959. (same year Hal Jordan/Green Lantern made his his comic book debut) It received good reviews from critics and movie goers alike. Plus, it recoup money at the box office. Forty Years Later, a remake with Geoffrey Rush earned negative reviews.
Anyway, it’s Halloween Month 2023. I’ll be watching and reviewing several Horror films throughout October. Which Horror film should I review next? Please leave a comment and I’ll reply back.
This review contains SPOILERS. If you’re somewhat interested in seeing the original, read at your own risk.
Alive & Dead Elements
Alive: Vincent Price and the rest of the cast all did a great job for their respective performances.
Cinematography didn’t succumb to technical issues.
At one point, Frederick Loren said, “It’s close to midnight, Lance.” This predates the first verse from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Vincent also provided narration towards the end of the song.
Dead: Running time’s an hour and fourteen minutes long. Not enough to qualify as a live-action movie. Animated movies are forgivable running approximately 70-90 minutes long. Watching a 60-70 minute live-action movie is the equivalent of watching an episode of any TV drama like “True Detective.”
The movie poster depicts a haunted house. In the actual movie it’s just some cluttered architecture. That’s false advertising for ya.
Pacing is boring as heck. I wanted this movie to end. There’s way too much exposition. I expected the guests to arm themselves with a gun or melee weapon 10-20 minutes in. Unfortunately, you have to wait towards the end. Can imagine if “Squid Game” heavily relies on exposition, instead of contestants fighting for their lives to win the prize money?
Frederick’s wife’s is a complete moron. She gets killed by a walking skeleton controlled by her husband. How did she die? Screams for a life, slowly backs away near a pool of acid. Then, the skeleton pushes her to the acid pool. She doesn’t realize the skeleton has strings attached to its shoulders.
To add salt in the wound, I didn’t care about every single character. They’re completely forgettable.
Turns out a guest named, David and Frederick’s wife are in cahoots. Again, I didn’t care about every single character.
At first, the Opening Scene felt strong with a black screen. People yelling in terror establishes a Scare Factor. It’s butchered with a cheesy floating head. I know this is a low-budget movie, but I couldn’t take it seriously. Why? Because it reminds me of the floating head scene from “Thor: Love and Thunder.” The one with Heimdell’s son’s unrendered CGI head.
I wasn’t scared at all. Not one little bit.
The movie abruptly ends. There’s no indication of a supernatural elements. It was all a lie. Gonna have to Triple Down Points for making me feel miserably bore and wasting an hour and fourteen minutes of free time. Ugh! I’d rather play the “Mass Effect Trilogy” remastered on PS4/PS5.
The Final Verdict: F, FOR FAKER!
I’m sorry folks. I didn’t like the original House on Haunted Hill. It lacks tension, too much talky talky, uninteresting characters etc. This is the second classic Horror film dislike since the 1932 version of The Most Dangerous Game.” Both movies are garbage. As a modern movie goer, I have to give old movies tough love. Whether they stand the test of time or just plain rubbish.
If you wanna watch a real good movie or show with people trying to stay alive, watch “Battle Royale” or Squid Game on Netflix. I cannot wait for Season 2.
Nickthemoviecritic.com 